How to Throw a No-Hitter and Lose by Four Runs
Baseball is a weird game. We all know this. But sometimes it’s really weird. 1-2-3 Sports favorite Grant Brisbee hits the rewind button and takes us back to 1990, when Yankees pitcher Andy Hawkins threw a no-hitter and lost the game. By four runs. How does that happen? With two outs in the 8th of a scoreless game, it went: error, walk, walk, error, error, including two dropped fly balls that would have ended the inning. That is a weird game. As Hawkins said back in 1990, and again in 2015: That’s baseball. -TOB
Source: “How to Throw a No-Hitter and Lose by Four Runs”, Grant Brisbee, SB Nation (07/01/2015)
A Gamblin’ Man
No, not Pete Rose again. Did you know that golfer Phil Mickelson is a notorious gambler? A story broke this week wherein Mickelson was named as having bet $2.75M on various sports gambling bets. The money was later laundered, though Mickelson is not being investigated for the money laundering. That story is not all that interesting, but did lead me to some very entertaining Mickelson (and other golfer) gambling stories.
You Think You Know, But You Have No Idea: World Cup Pics Without The Ball
A fun half-story, half-game brought to you by the NYT: Here are some of the best photos and highlights from the Women’s World Cup, only with the ball removed. You get to place the ball where you think it should be, then compare it with where the ball actually is. You also get to see where everyone else guessed where the ball is. I’ll be honest, this is a great bathroom article, but I really enjoyed it. Light a match and get comfy. – PAL
Source: “Spot the Ball: Quarterfinals”, Alastair Coote, Sam Manchester, and Rumsey Taylor. Illustrations by Jennifer Daniel, The New York Times (6/30/15)
TOB: I took the quiz and was very mediocre. I did better than 59% of people who took it, which I’m reasonably happy with. There was one where I was in the 98th percentile. I note Phil neglected to tell us what he got.
Bobby Bonilla Hasn’t Played Since 2001; Is Still Very Well Paid
Bobby Bonilla was at one point a very good baseball player. He made six all-star teams, and came close to winning the MVP a couple times. But by 1999, he was no longer very good. In fact, he was very bad. He was so bad that the Mets decided they’d rather pay him to go away. His buyout clause was $5.9M. But the Mets were very shortsighted. Instead of paying Bonilla $5.9M in 2000, they deferred the buyout for a series of annual payments that begin in 2010. Those annual payments are $1.2M and last until the year 2035. 2035! That’s a total of about $30M, instead of $5.9M in 2000. Even with the value of money diminishing over time, that was a horrible decision. The Mets have been mostly bad for decades, and this is indicative of why.
Source: “Happy Bobby Bonilla Mets Pay Day”, Matt Snyder, CBS Sports (07/01/2015)
Tall Men Play Baseball Game Poorly, Everyone Still Has Good Time
I want to go to the Dirk Nowitzki’s annual Heroes Celebrity Baseball Game. This event has everything. Ryan Cabrera: check. An unsigned Dez Bryant doing backflips: check. Hipster haircut Steve Nash making hustle plays at a charity event: check. Also, this is a celebrity baseball game. No soft-ass softball for this Texas-sized event. Related, how I miss Rock N’ Jock softball. There’s no game better suited for celebrity/charity events than is baseball or softball. – PAL
Source: “A Tradition Unlike Any Other: Dirk Nowitzki’s Annual Celebrity Baseball Game”, Jason Gallagher, Grantland (6/29/15)
TOB: Man, Rock n’ Jock takes me back. I never really cared for the softball. The basketball was where it was at. The Violators vs. the Bricklayers. The 30-point basket at the end of each quarter was inspired, and watching chuckers like Antoine Walker try for it was always amusing, because you know that a 30-point shot was his true destiny. Seeing people like Jaleel White and Dean Cain and realizing that he could really ball was weird. It’s funny that this event was so popular – in middle school it was all people could talk about the week after it aired. RIP Rock n’ Jock basketball. RIP 30-point basket. The WNBA, or at the very least the NBDL, should adopt it.
Alexi Lalas with the Sweet Burn on Bitter Old Man Landon Donovan
Landon Donovan is still bitter about being left off the 2014 World Cup team. He is also an athlete and overestimates his intelligence and ability to be subtle. Alexi Lalas calls out bullsh-t when he sees it. Hence, the following Twitter conversation:
Roasted, Landycakes. -TOB
Source: “Landon Donovan Burns Jurgen Klinsman, Gets Burned by Alexi Lalas“, Kevin Draper, Deadspin (06/30/2015)
GIFs of the Week
Jahlil Okafor does not seem thrilled to be a Sixer.
“You only get three mistakes, then that’s life, big baby.”