Week of May 13, 2016

That’s a weak-ass centaur.

Tax Dollars At Work: $63M for a High School Football Stadium

I love sports. Love them! Hell, I write a sports blog with TOB for about 12 people to read every week to share my favorite sports stories. But I think I’m growing to hate more and more the BS that surrounds sports, especially the politics around sports. To wit:

“Voters in McKinney, Tex., have given the go-ahead to spend nearly $63 million on building a high school football stadium after months of contentious debate in the suburb north of Dallas.”

What. The. F. I don’t care how well the relatively well-off town is doing in McKinney, TX (population of about 160K, HHI of about $80K), this is absurd. There about 63 million better uses for that money. High school sports are about a lot of things, but they sure as shit are not about facilities, and they should never, ever be about, “providing an economic boon by attracting regional tournaments and other events,” as Jennifer Gray, the chairwoman of Vote for McKinney’s Future, a pro-stadium group puts it. Take that money and built out the theater department. Make the Math club world class. Add 5 more foriegn language classes. How about this: Give every teacher in the district a 20% raise, and – in the process – attract better teachers.

Sports are a wonderful tool in high school; but high school sports should never be a product. I know major college sports are a business – I concede that – but high school sports…come on.  – PAL

Source: That’s Right, $63 Million for a Football Stadium … for High Schoolers”, Mike McPhate, The New York Times (5/11/16)

TOB: Sorry, I can’t argue with Phil here. This is pretty disturbing. If the funds for this were sourced by the morons who want a $63 million stadium…fine. They’d be morons. But morons can spend their money any way they like. But to force this on taxpayers, many of whom (as is clear by the fierce opposition) either do not care about football, or who do not think a high school football team needs a stadium that costs $63 million, should be criminal. Lock ’em up!

The Best Hitting Pitchers

A statistical breakdown of the best hitting pitchers in baseball. We all know Madison Bumgarner is the best because he drops bombs, and when we’re talking about the merits between a .190 batting average and a .220 batting average can we all just agree that it’s about the long ball with the pitchers? Thank you. How about this: “Since the start of 2014, Bumgarner’s eight homers at AT&T are the third-most by a righty behind only Hunter Pence (11) and Buster Posey (19).” There are a bunch of pitchers hitting stats in here, too (batting average, strikeout-to-walk ratio, and steals). A quick read to remind us all that the D.H. has got to go! – PAL

Source: “Pitchers who rake: Syndergaard in club of MLB’s top-hitting hurlers”, Jay Jaffe, SI (5/12/16)

TOB: During the recent series with the Blue Jays, Toronto fans were complaining that they were “forced” to throw RA Dickey (a pitcher, and an old one at that) as a pinch hitter (I put forced in quotes because they had a backup catcher on the bench who they refused to use). Listen up, Canadians, let me tell you what this is all aboat: FUN. God damn if seeing a pitcher forced to hit is not one of the funniest things in sports. Lighten up, fellas. Enjoy the show.

Hail, King Duncan. Long Live the Spurs!

A rarity here at 1-2-3 Sports! – I don’t actually have an article to share. I just wanted to tip my cap to the San Antonio Spurs, and Tim Duncan, who were eliminated last night by the Oklahoma City Thunder. The Spurs won 67 games this year…tied for seventh best all time. If it didn’t happen in a season where the Warriors won 73, the Spurs would have been feted, and rightfully so. They went 40-1 at home, tied for the best home record of all time. The lone loss came to those same Warriors. Heading into the playoffs, everyone expected a Western Conference Finals matchup of the two teams with the most combined wins to ever face each other…and then they ran into a Thunder team that seems to finally (finally!) be putting it all together. The Spurs looked old. The Spurs looked done.

But let me tell you something – I am no longer in the business of declaring the Spurs done. I’m out the game! I am not about that life! In 2011, they lost in the first round (as the #1 seed!) to the Grizzlies. And it was ugly, too. I said, ring the bell! The Spurs are done! The very next year they made the conference finals. The year after that they made the NBA Finals – and should have won! – before losing to the Heat in 7 games. Geeze, I said. That was a good run, Spurs. I again expected them to ride off into the sunset. And then they came back the next year, 2014, and won the whole damn thing! They smoked the same Heat in 5 games. The year after that, they lost in the first round again. Well, that has to be it. Great run, San Antonio. Boy oh boy. But the Spurs decided it’s not over until they say it is! And they came back this season and won 67 friggin games. So, like I said, I’m not writing them off. I’m done allowing them to make me look/feel foolish. And any eulogy to the Spurs you see today, ask how many times that writer wrote the Spurs off in the past. A couple, at least. -TOB

White Parents: Giving Their Kids Terrible Names For Longer Than You Realized

My god. My god. This is funny and terrifying at the same time. Phil and I actually saw this last Friday morning, and wanted to throw up an emergency post. It’s that important. Alas, we decided it would be just as funny this week. And it is. The WHL had its “Bantam Draft” last week – 14 and 15 year old kids. And the names are simply ridiculous. For example: Cael. Corson. Deegan. Jagger. Jakin. Kishaun. Oh, folks. We’re just getting started. Neithan (yes, that is Nathan). Nicksha. Bowen. And it gets better: RIVER. TIMBER. YES, SOMEONE NAMED THEIR KID TIMBER. EDGE. FRIGGIN EDGE. THEY NAME THEIR KID EDGE. JERZY. Like New Jersey, but spelled in the dumbest way possible. Mkyllan. What the hell does that even mean? How do you say that?


I started off laughing but I’m now furious. Come on, white people! Stop this. Stop it right now! -TOB

Source: The Future of Hockey is Still a Bunch of Kids With Irritating Names“, Barry Petchesky, Deadspin (05/06/2016)

Video of the Week:

PAL’s Song of the Week: Tom T. Hall – “That’s How I Got To Memphis

Check out all of our picks here. I’ll buy a beer to the first person not named TOB to provide a ranking (1-10) on Facebook or Twitter.  

“You can’t pause toast. It loses its essence.”

-Leon Black

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