Topic 9, Inspired by Ryan Rowe: Least Favorite Players By Decade
Age 10 (1992)
TOB: Either Jose Canseco or Sid Bream. I was SO mad about Bream beating out Bonds’ throw to win the 1992 NLCS. But even at 10, I knew Canseco was a big dumb idiot.
PAL: Mark Lemke, 2B Atlanta Braves. This little double-flap, switch-hitting dude drove me nuts in the 1991 World Series. He suuuuuucked as a hitter throughout his career, then decides to go 10-24 in the World Series. Also, Terry Pendleton. Wanna-be Puckett. Never root for a MLB player who wears the double ear-flap helmet. I don’t care that you’re a switch-hitter. You’re in the bigs. Get two helmets, you turd.
TOB: HAAAAA. I almost said Lemke, too. Funny. I was at the Giants/Braves 2010 NLDS Game 1. We were in line for food and a guy in a Braves hat walked by. He looked like a real doofus, and very much like Mark Lemke. I was feeling myself and told him he looked like Lemke. His retort: “So I look like a professional baseball player? Thanks.” Damn. He got me!
Mark Lemke: yet another example of the double ear-flap theory.
TOB: Wow, hm. Probably Karl Malone. I just never, ever liked that guy. Oh! Or John Starks!
PAL: Dan Majerle. Maybe he didn’t have that bronze tan yet, but I didn’t get his thing…which, in retrospect, was to shoot the three ball a lot. Also, I think Will Ferrell could pass for Dan Majerle.
TOB: Emmit Smith. So overrated. He ran straight through holes the size of a major freeway. Barry Sanders was criminally underappreciated at the time, especially when compared to Emmit.
PAL: Emmit is a good call. Don Beebe. Speaking for shorty guys everywhere, let me just say we’re sensitive to the Rudys out there among us. Don Beebe chasing down Leon Lett in a blowout Super Bowl qualified as a bit of a Rudy play. According to Beebe, after they got their asses kicked, the owner of the Bills came into the locker room, addressed Beebe as “son” (older people: don’t do this to adult men, please), and said the following: “You showed what the Buffalo Bills are all about today. I’m extremely proud of you. I just want to say thanks.”
And now I understand why the Bills never won squat.
Karl, Karl, Karl – easy on the frills, buddy.
Age 20 (2002):
TOB: Derek Jeter. So overrated. No range, singles power, and the media feted him like some sort of baseball god. No play in baseball history is more overrated than his interception of a throw home on the first base line and flip to the catcher to get Jeremy Giambi, except maybe the catch he made when he fell into the bleachers after taking six steps after the catch.
PAL: I’m living at the Moontower in Sioux Falls with 5 other baseball players. Plastic bottles of chew spit litter the common areas, and the bay window may or may not have been busted out due to a ping pong paddle. We’ve got a loveseat on top of a table we “borrowed” from the dorms to create stadium seating, and I have to watch Adam Kennedy from the Angels hit three motherf*&%ing homeruns in game 5 to eliminate my Twins. Just noticing that my least favorite player is another 2B.
Honorable mention: A.J. Pierzynski…and he was a player on the Twins at that point, which says a lot.
TOB: Kobe, no question. HATED him.
PAL: Peja Stojakovic. We had a fellow catcher on the team from Sacramento (how the hell did he find his way to South Dakota?). He was the first flatbill I knew, and he loved the Kings, and he’d say “PAAAAAAAAAAAAja” every time Stojakovic touched the ball. It was so annoying to watch games with this guy. Not Stojakovic’s fault, but I couldn’t separate the player from the fan.
TOB: Hah. Peja was almost my most loved in 2002.
PAL: You would.
TOB: Probably Peyton Manning. I was never a fan, and hated how much love he got.
PAL: Jeff Garcia. His entire aura drove me nuts.
Age 30 (2012):
TOB: Respected, sure, but god damn did I hate Clayton Kershaw, who was in the midst of three Cy Youngs in four seasons. However, I hated Matt Holliday more, for his dirty slide to take out our lord and savior Marco Scutaro in the 2012 NLCS.
PAL: At this point, he’s a White Sox, so this is easy: A.J. Pierzynski
TOB: Still Kobe.
PAL: I want to say Dwight Howard. The SuperMan thing he simply saw Shaq do and tried to take it.
TOB: Still Peyton.
PAL: Richard Sherman
Of course Jeff Garcia wore his hat like that.
Pushing 40 (2020):
PAL: again with this 40 b.s….
TOB: Gotta be Cody Bellinger. I’m sick of his goddamn smirk.
PAL: Gerrit Cole. That post-world series interview was so lame…unless he was protesting the Astros cheating scandal and wanted to distance himself from them as soon as possible…eh? eh?
TOB: This is a tough one. The league is pretty likable right now. Luka is a dark horse, because I’m so bitter the Kings didn’t draft him, so I wish him ill. But I really don’t hate anyone at this point.
PAL: Kyrie. His act drives me nuts.
TOB: I wish Brady would go away, but I don’t hate him. No one, really.
PAL: Russell Wilson. Can’t stand me some fake-ass Russell.
TOB: Yeah, I screwed that one up. Russell.
How about you? Which players did you hate at different points in your life?
- Your favorite baseball cleats
- Greatest game you ever played in
- Glove Rules
- Coaching Unis
- Best Fields/Courts/Venues you’ve every played on
- Favorite players (by decade)
- Best players you played with or against
- Predicting Joe Posnanski’s Top 7 baseball players of all-time.