Wazzu Popcorn Guy: You Are Not Alone, Nor Are You Forgotten
A little inside baseball on what goes into getting the very best crowd reaction shots on sports broadcasts, specifically college football. What do those crowd shots mean? What feelings do they convey? What are the stories behind those people? Featured are some famous blasts from the past, including my favorite of all time – the Wazzu popcorn fan in the rain. Behold:
I don’t think anything illustrates the feeling of being a sports fan, especially that of a perennial also-ran, as that video of that sad, pathetic man pouring the dregs of his bag of popcorn all over his rain-soaked face, as the drops continue to fall upon him. I can relate. -TOB
A bit lost amidst the stories of USC’s firing of head football coach Steve Sarkisian after he allegedly showed up to work Sunday morning drunk (and possibly was drunk during a recent game), is the fact that legendary coach Steve Spurrier abruptly resigned this week from his post as the Head Ball Coach(™) at the other USC – South Carolina, effective immediately. My b.s. detectors are going off, but as of now there are no reasons for his resignation, other than the fact that he is done. Spurrier is a funny guy – very easy to despite, especially if your team routinely played his team. But from a distance, especially as an adult, I can appreciate the way in which Spurrier didn’t take himself, or his position in the world, too seriously. Here’s an excerpt that pretty well illustrates Spurrier’s persona:
“He was a bully and a pre-Internet troll and he was so adept at issuing undermining one-liners that a Florida sports columnist compiled a book of them. What is my favorite Spurrier noodge of all time? Maybe it’s the time he was informed that a dormitory fire at Auburn had destroyed 20 books, and he replied, “But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet.” I mean, I have nothing against Auburn, but that’s A-list Don Rickles material right there.
In an era where college coaches are getting increasingly conservative (and I don’t mean politically), Spurrier will be missed. -TOB
It is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up.
A Life in Baseball Through the Lens of a Father
This is a cool photo essay by Giants’ third baseman Matt Duffy’s dad. The photographs and anecdotes chronicle Matt’s baseball career, starting at age two, and ending with Matt’s breakout 2015 rookie season. He’s a proud papa, and while reading it, a liiiittle part of me hoped that one day I can begin a similar photo essay with this photo:
PAL: We all had that kid on our team whose parent hovered with the massive lens snapping 450 pictures at a meaningless Tuesday night game at a crappy, dirt-infield park. In the moment, you’d love for them to put the damn camera away; in retrospect, you’re glad they were there. Side note: there are few logos that bubble up the nostalgia as much as the ol’ Little League patch seen in some of these pics.
The Things You Learn at the Neighborhood Block Party ℅ roommate Jamie J. Morganstern
The ol’ roomie sent along this gem. I liked his email so much that we’re just dropping it right in here. – PAL
Yesterday at the Annual Ewing Terrace Block Party I learned a little more about the history of the neighborhood. Most of us know that the property used to be one of the city’s cemeteries before they moved a lot of graves to Colma.
A few years later, in 1914, they decided to build “Ewing Field/Park,” which was the new home of the San Francisco Seals baseball team, a professional team at the time. One of the old timers at the party told me this story and explained that Ewing was actually the name of the owner of the SF Seals.
“1914–Ewing Park becomes the new home of the San Francisco Seals, intended to be the finest minor league park to date, located one block south of Geary at Masonic.
“San Francisco Chronicle said, ‘The only possible drawback is the possibility of meeting bad weather conditions.’ Indeed, the new park was a fiasco. The club returned to Old Rec Park in 1915.”
The park was short lived. The foggy weather didn’t work well for baseball. Pop flies disappeared into the outfield.
Maybe others knew this already? Anyways, I thought I’d share the story and the photos. One of the photos shows that old building on Geary that is now a long-term storage facility.
TOB:Wow. That is so cool. I already loved Phil’s neighborhood, but this pushes it over the edge. Life goal: Buy a house on Ewing. *checks Zillow estimates* Shoot.
That Time Agent Zero Almost Got Got
You may remember the batshit story of the Wizards locker room gun incident involving Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton from back in 2009. But the reports were kind of cryptic and I always wondered what really happened. Well, Caron Butler (who has lived a very interesting life) wrote an autobiography. This excerpt covers his first-hand account of what happened – how it started and how it went down. It’s even more insane than I imagined. (FWIW, Arenas today posted a rebuttal, with his version of the events. It is no less insane, but you can read it here). And this story is even more spooky when you remember that Crittenton is currently serving a 23-year prison sentence for voluntary manslaughter. Gilbert Arenas may, as he said, “play with guns” – but Javaris Crittenton doesnot play. -TOB
Bill Belichick could provide a very interesting test case for a psychologist. Belichick’s motto is “Do Your Job.” He instills that mantra in his players. Accordingly, Bill does not hand out individual praise lightly. After all, if you do what you’re supposed to do, you don’t deserve praise (insert Chris Rock reference here). So on the rare occasion that he does hand out individual praise, it means a lot to the recipient – so much so that the players can recall the very specifics – the game, the play, what Bill said. These are grown men, at the top of their professions, acting like well-trained dogs who get excited when their owner pats them on the head. Fascinating.
Call Raiders owner Mark Davis “Men’s Wearhouse” because he likes the way he looks.
Mark Davis Doesn’t Give a Damn What You Think
This is an amazing piece of journalism, by one of my longtime favorite sportswriters, Tim Keown. Keown profiles Raiders owner Mark Davis, who took over the team when his dad, Al Davis, died in 2011. That guy up top of this post? That’s Mark. Do you see that haircut? Mark has been rocking that awful hairdo for years, and people have been mocking it for just as long. But Mark Davis doesn’t just like that haircut. He travels 500 miles to Palm Springs to go to the same barber to get that haircut. Does he know people laugh at it? Yep. Does he care? Nope. The dude is worth $500 million and he does not care what you think. Check out the opening paragraph to the story:
Most days start the same — behind the wheel of a white 1997 Dodge Caravan SE outfitted with a bubble-top Mark III conversion kit, a VHS player mounted to the roof inside and a r8hers personalized plate. Mark Davis pilots this machine from his East Bay home to the nearest P.F. Chang’s, where he sits at the left end of the bar, same spot every time, puts his white fanny pack on the counter, orders an iced tea and unfolds the day’s newspapers. Beside him on the bar, next to the papers, is his 2003 Nokia push-button phone with full texting capability. When someone calls and asks him where he is, he says, “I’m in my office,” and sends a knowing nod to the bartenders. It gets ’em every time.
I have read that five times and I laugh every time. If that doesn’t make you click this story to read the rest, I give up. -TOB
PAL: The next time someone tells you “I don’t care what other people think,” you can call bulls*&t. Simply pull out your phone, have them read this story. Mark Davis doesn’t care what other people think, and he’s the only one. Hilarious story. Great find. Also, the man is worth $500 million and he drives a conversion van with a vanity plate. Can we get the Mark Davis biopic movie into pre-produciton already?
Another High School Football Death
Evan Murray, a 17-year old from New Jersey, died during a high school football last weekend. Murray was the third high school football player to die from injuries suffered in a game in the month of September. From 2012 to 2014, thirteen high school football players died from injuries suffered during a game. I have discussed in this space many times the guilt and mixed feelings I have because of my enjoyment of football. There is not much more for me to say but to acknowledge my hypocrisy. Still, this is a good read: Grantland’s Charles P. Pierce discusses the complicit culpability we all have in the death of Evan Murray, and other players like him. -TOB
This is amusing. The guy pictured below, with the fantastic mullet, went to a minor league baseball game in North Carolina last weekend.
He got so drunk that he passed out in a stairwell and awoke around midnight, long after the ballpark had been deserted. While leaving, he stumbled upon the team’s mascot’s costume. He put the costume on and met up with friends at a local bar – dancing the night away and, as he put it, “ragin’, dude.” Nice work, guy. Also, excellent headline, Creative Loafing Charlotte. -TOB Source: “Homer’s Night on the Town: If You Drank a Shot With the Knights’ Mascot on Sept. 20, You Were Basically Harboring a Fugitive”, Ryan Pitkin, Creative Loafing Charlotte (09/30/2015)
PAL: Since there is nothing I could possibly write to make this story any better than it is, please read this excerpt:
He said he was at Hooters, so I told him to stay there. I start walking down the hallway to leave and I look to my right and see the mascot dressing room. I thought, there’s no way this door is unlocked. I turned the handle and it opens right up and there’s the damned costume.
So, I suited right up, walked out the door and proceeded to Hooters. I walked right up into Hooters and my buddy didn’t even know it was me. I was ragin’ dude.
I left Hooters and there was a big line at Tilt next door. I just said, “Yo man, can I go in?” The guy said, “No,” and I was like, “Dude, You’re not gonna let Homer the f*&kin’ mascot into your bar right now?” Then he said I could go in. There was nobody on the dance floor. I come sliding in and start getting it. I was doing all the moves you always wanted to try but are too embarrassed to.
Earlier this month, the A’s called up Barry Zito from the minors. Zito was drafted and began his career with the A’s, winning a Cy Young and earning a giant free agent contract from the Giants. His time with the Giants was mostly poor, but they likely do not win the 2012 World Series without his great performance in the NLCS, so Giants fans can forgive the other mediocre (and worse) seasons he had while with the team. A’s fans, of course, look back on Barry’s time in Oakland fondly, as he was a member of the Big Three – Hudson, Mulder, and Zito, that led the early-aughts A’s to a number of division titles. Zito took 2014 off, and then signed with the A’s, surprisingly accepting an assignment to AAA and spending the entire season there. When the news of Zito’s call-up broke, excited A’s and Giants fans looked at the schedule and noticed that former A/current Giant Hudson was scheduled to start for San Francisco in Oakland on September 26. Fans began to clamor for the A’s to start Zito, for a Big Three reunion, of sorts. Immediately, the A’s squashed it. But, a couple weeks later, it is on. Hudson vs. Zito, in Oakland, this Saturday. Mulder will be in attendance (and all three will throw out the first pitch on Sunday). Jonah Keri takes some time to look back at the Big Three – how they came together and where they went – in advance of this throwback game. -TOB
PAL: It’s cool how each of the guys were so distinct while all having sustained success. The undersized southern bulldog in Hudson (most impressive), the Golden Boy in Mulder (oh yeah, he was really good for a while), the guitar-strumming California boy in Zito (most compelling). Keri also brings up a great point – how are none of these guys even mentioned in Moneyball when they were integral to that team’s success? With regards to Zito – this dude’s all right by me, despite the contract with the Giants. He showed up big-time in ‘12 for the Giants – “In two combined starts between the NLCS and World Series, Zito fired 13.1 innings and allowed just a single run, winning both games…” – and by all account he never bickered, always worked hard, and was a solid teammate for the entirety of what was considered a horrible contract. It didn’t work out how it was supposed to, but he never appeared to lean into it. This Hudson – Zito matchup is a fitting punctuation to the trio’s story.
A Full Life: Yogi Berra (5/12/1925 – 9/22/2015)
Yogi Berra’s pop culture persona overshadowed the fact that he was a fantastic player. A legit all-timer. While he was portrayed as an idiot savant, that wasn’t close to the truth. As Robert Lipsyte wrote in 1963, “He has continued to allow people to regard him as an amiable clown because it brings him quick acceptance, despite ample proof, on field and off, that he is intelligent, shrewd and opportunistic.” And how about this – the man appeared in 21 World Series as a player, coach, or manager. You read that correctly. 10 World Series championships as a player. The 8th grade dropout from St. Louis also took a break from baseball to serve in the Navy, was at Omaha Beach in Normandy. Add to all of this that he and his wife had a 60+ year marriage. We reach to make the connections – I know – but while reading about Berra I kept thinking of my grandpa – the limited formal education, the WWII service, the marriage…a remarkable life. Collier’s magazine may have described Berra as someone who “could pass easily as a member of the Neanderthal A.C.”, but in the end the ledger shows he was a winner in every way that counts. Make sure to check out the slideshow for incredible photos covering Yogi’s career. – PAL
TOB: As a baseball fan, I didn’t realize how much Yogi Berra had seeped into American pop culture. I know he did those GEICO commercials over the last few years, but I figured many non-baseball fans had no idea who he is, other than a memorable name they had heard a few times. And then he died. Wednesday, my mom sent me not one but two articles she read about Yogi. That evening, Yogi’s death was mentioned on TV and my wife exclaimed, “Yogi Berra died!? I liked him.” I didn’t even realize she knew who he was, but Yogi was that famous. Though, as Will Leitch notes here, Yogi was a real human being, not just a witticism juke box. By all accounts, he was kind and wise, a great person. The world could use a lot more people like Yogi.
Ragnar Might Have Overestimated Negotiation Position
A part of me wants to agree with KNBR’s Kate Scott’s theory that perhaps some Viking employee leaked Joe Juranitch was seeking a $20K/game (up from $1,500/game) over 10 years (over $2M if you include pre-season games). Yet, if it wasn’t true why wouldn’t Juranitch dispute it publicly now that it’s over? Here’s what I want to know: Who was in his ear saying, “Come on, Joe! You’re freakin’ Ragnar! You’re worth 10x what they’re paying you, man!” Bottom line – you’re an unofficial mascot, Joe. Take the field level pass, ride your Hog onto the field in front of 60,000 berserk fans, and drink it in. There are a lot of Norseman in Minnesota with beards and bikes who will jump at the chance taking your place for half the price. Lastly, it chaps my ass that an AP writer penned a story for the St. Paul paper about the local football mascot! Times are indeed tough for the Pioneer Press. – PAL
TOB: That pic up top of this post? That was posted by Ragnar during the Vikings’ home opener, with the caption: “It doesn’t feel right sitting at home. This is not by my choice…I don’t make those decisions..At this point it was made for me. I miss all my fans and your support …let’s all stay positive as we move forward. I gotta say: I like his gusto. Asking $20k per game to ride a friggin motorcycle onto the field pre-game? Blaming others for not paying you that $20k? That takes brass.
Bing Crosby: Baseball Hero
Kinda, anyways. I found this article, published 5 years ago this week, on my Facebook Memories feature. I shared it on Facebook back then, and it’s just as cool of a story today. Decades after Bing Crosby’s death, the only known recording of Game 7 of the 1960 Yankees/Pirates World Series was found in Crosby’s wine cellar in his Hillsborough, California home. Bing was part-owner of the Pirates and was extremely superstitious. He was afraid to watch the game live, because he thought he might jinx the team. So he and his wife flew to Paris (rough life) and ol’ Bing listened to the game on the radio. But, he knew he’d want to watch the game later, so he had someone record the game on a kinescope, and kept the recording all these years. The discovery of the recording has allowed the game to be seen for the first time since the broadcast – the networks discarded game recordings immediately after airing until the 1970s. But thanks to Bing, and a lucky discovery in 2010, MLB now has the recording and in 2010 put together a retrospective on what many consider to be the best game ever played. -TOB
If you watch sports on TV, you have lately been inundated with commercials for “Daily Fantasy” sports. The Daily Fantasy commercials feature excited people receiving oversized, seven figure checks (longtime 1-2-3 readers may recall this story about a guy making $1M/year in fantasy sports that we featured in one of our very first posts). It all sounds great, and on Monday night, I thought, “Well maybe I should try it.” This, despite the fact that I am a terrible fantasy football player. I am glad that I instead found this story on Tuesday, which made me realize that I would merely be throwing my money away. To wit: “Analysis from Rotogrinders conducted for Bloomberg shows that the top 100 ranked players enter 330 winning lineups per day, and the top 10 players combine to win an average of 873 times daily. The remaining field of approximately 20,000 players tracked by Rotogrinders wins just 13 times per day, on average…Only the top 1.3 percent of players finished in the green during the three months measured by the Sport Business Journal.” Those odds are awful. Don’t get suckered in. Don’t play Daily Fantasy. -TOB
PAL: Hey, my college buddy and sportswriter posted the perfect companion piece! Whereas Brustein and Boudway’s take underscores the odds of winning playing DFL (I will only refer to it as DFL from here on out), Opatz takes a crack at the effect DFL has on how we experience games. In addition to learning about DFL camps in Vegas (for cryin out loud), he nails it when he writes, “Watching sports for fantasy takes the poetry out of it, reducing the subtleties and nuance of sports to simple accounting in a ledger. It turns an epic novel into a spreadsheet. But that didn’t stop me from drafting a fantasy football team this year.”
If you enjoy college sports, the idea to allow schools to pay players directly is troubling. In a free market system, an already stratified sport would only become worse, and the games would become a farce. Inevitably, many schools who are barely breaking even as is would be forced to cut football. At other schools, profits from football pay for non-revenue sports, including women’s sports. If college football players begin getting paid, available profits for smaller sports will shrink. The Title IX implications are also significant – it is likely that, at least at some schools, every non-revenue male sport would have to be axed in order to comply with Title IX. It seems like a horrible mess and the death of college sports. However, inspired by a Nike commercial tribute to Animal House featuring great Oregon Duck football players of the past, Andrew Sharp proposes a system to pay college football players, without the payments coming directly from the schools themselves. His suggestion: Allow private companies to pay them. Nike, UnderArmour, local car dealers, etc. Just let players trade off their fame. It hurts no one. Hell, it even helps college football. If Johnny Manziel could have traded off his likeness for $10M/year for two more years of college, he’d be a lot better off, and so would college football fans who got to watch him, than he is being battered in the NFL. This idea is not without flaws, as schools like Oregon, with strong ties to Nike will have a strong advantage over other schools. But it’s better than the alternative, and at least the players are getting paid. -TOB
I’ll Give You Summer Teeth. Some’r Here, Some’r There.
As a non-hockey fan, I do enjoy a good hockey fight. I was actually a big hockey fan in the early to mid-90’s, but when you get older you have to prioritize. I watch way less sports in general than I did when I was a kid, and hockey is one of those sports that did not make the cut. One of my favorite things about hockey fights is “jerseying” – when the players fighting attempt to pull their opponents’ jersey over their head. I had no idea, though, that this practice was effectively banned by the NHL in the late-90’s, which is a bummer – it’s such a classic move. This light-hearted article takes a look back at the history of Jerseying with some excellent examples, including an appearance by Terry O’Reilly, who was immortalized in the opening moments of Happy Gilmore. -TOB
By now everyone has heard how nuts Alabama football fans are about their team. They are proud to be certifiable when it comes to the Crimson Tide, so I have to call them out on this weak ass crap. Every year before the home opener, people come together for the “Bear Bryant Namesake Reunion”. I know what you’re thinking – whoa, that’s nuts! Everyone named after Paul “Bear” Bryant come together to celebrate his or her father’s obsession with football that swirled out of control to the point where he named his child after a football coach. Here’s the deal – the rules for being a namesake are weak. Bryant Lambert, Andrew Bryant Madaris, William Bryceton Wooters, Paula Harrison – although technical namesakes, these folks are getting pretty loose with it. Only one kid featured here had the obvious, most bad-ass name: BEAR. That’s commitment to the insanity which should be at the heart of this bonkers tradition. As far as I’m concerned, there are only two people who should get the invite next year: Bear Bryant’s son (Paul, Jr.), and 7 year-old Bear Zeiden. – PAL
TOB: This reminds me of a favorite story of mine. In the late-1980s, the father of Isaiah Thomas, the player currently on the Celtics, was a huge Lakers fan. The story goes that his father was friends with a big Pistons fan, and that the two made a bet before the 1989 NBA season. If the Pistons won the title, Thomas’ dad had to name his son Isaiah Thomas, after the Pistons star. The story goes that although Isaiah was born 3 months before the Finals, by that time his dad had warmed to the name and it stuck.
Drink Roger Goodell’s Tears of Unfathomable Sadness
As you’re probably aware, a federal judge ruled against the NFL in the Deflategate/Ballghazi “scandal” this week. If you’ve read this blog from the beginning, you know that I despise Roger Goodell, and the news absolutely delighted me. The whole “scandal” was absolutely ludicrous, starting with the fact that the NFL apparently took ball inflation soseriously that instead of paying someone to safeguard the game balls after they were measured before the game, they allowed each team to hold them instead. And when the Colts complained to the league for their AFC title game against the Patriots, the NFL could have reached out to the Patriots and said, “We got this complaint. We are informing you now that we will be periodically checking the game balls throughout the game.” Instead, they decided to try a sting operation. If the Patriots did cheat, then the NFL knowingly allowed the first half of the AFC Championship game to be delegitimized. That is pure stupidity – and the whole thing went downhill from there. This article is a nice little summary of Goodell’s failures, and again – I enjoyed every second of it. -TOB
PAL: This ball deflation crap might be the dumbest sports story I can recall (not this article or TOB’s write-up, but the ongoing story). However, if you remove the who and the what from this, there is something interesting about CBAs between ownership and its…NOPE still the dumbest story. Hey, I tried.
TOB: It’s ok, Phil:
The Hitting Concession
Madison Bumgarner is a pitcher who can hit, which is very rare. Why is it so rare? How can someone who’s played baseball his entire life be so bad at hitting? It wasn’t always this way. Jonah Keri puts the question this way: “So, how did we get here? In an analytically driven sport constantly striving for excellence, how did we reach a point where everyone now accepts total incompetence in one out of every nine times at bat?”
The designated hitter has been around my entire life, so I’ve never paused to consider why it’s acceptable for a position player (in the literal sense) to be so bad at one of the fundamentals of the game. Pitchers – especially starter pitchers – are specialist, yet, unlike a kicker in football or even a goalie in hockey, they are at the center of the action for the majority of the game. The more I think about it, the more I’m shocked there at least one .300 hitting pitcher each year. Just one naturally gifted hitter who happens to pitch.
And then I look up how many .300 hitters are in the 2015 season. Care to guess? Over or under 40.5? The answer (as of Thursday night, 9:24PM PST): 25. That’s less than 1 per team! I guess the reason there aren’t many good hitting pitcher is that there aren’t many good hitters, period. – PAL
TOB: Right. Think about it this way. Hitting a baseball and throwing a baseball have almost no physical connection. There is no overlap in skills. Both are extremely difficult to do at the major league level, and the odds are extremely low that a single person would be naturally gifted at both, and have the time to develop those natural abilities to a level to perform at a high level in the major leagues.
PAL: How about this: “In 1925 — at age 37, no less — Walter Johnson hit .433/.455/.577 in 107 PA with two HR and 20 RBI.”
Vin Scully May Love the Dodgers, But He Is a National Treasure
The Giants have had a bad week. After losing two games over the weekend to the Cardinals, they went down to L.A. and got swept – losing each game by a single run – to fall 6.5 games behind the Dodgers. I hate pretty much everything about the Dodgers, except Vin Scully, the Dodgers announcer since 66 years and counting. Vin is likely a Dodgers fan, but you might not know it when listening to him call a game. His voice in smooth and soothing, and he tells a story like no other. This video is a great example of why I like Vin, as he narrates two young kids, one a Dodgers fan and one a Giants fan, and projects a narrative explaining their respective behavior. It’s great, and Scully is right – it’s been a bad week for the Giants, but the memory of three World Series wins in five years is still fresh. -TOB
PAL: Never in my life have I strung together a handful of sentences as elegant and plainspoken has Scully’s vamping in this video. Move over Morgan Freeman; Vin Scully is the narrator in my imaginary movie.
Who’s Got Next?
Grantland put together an amusing article about how American pickup basketball games need to stop counting by 1s and 2s and start counting by 2s and 3s. In a 1s and 2s game, the “3-point shot” is severely overvalued. Of course, as a jump shooter, this is why I love going by 1s and 2s. This is pretty obvious for anyone who ever stopped to think about it – but it’s still fun and the math they use to back it up is illuminating. -TOB
“Step 1: We buy into this club. Step 2: We roll over to the club in your Mercedes Benz or my pre-owned Acura Legend. Step 3: I dagger you on the dance floor. Just bounce, bounce. Now all the ladies sayin’ bounce. What do you say, sexy?
Glad to be a Charlie Brown. Happy Birthday, Dad! -TOB
Twins.com
This is one of the funniest stories I’ve ever read. Durland and Darvin are twins. In 1995 they registered for the URL twins.com. In the 20 years since, all but 3 URLs for MLB baseball teams have been secured by the MLB. The holdouts: The Giants (football team got that one), the Rays (a restaurant in Seattle has that one), and the Twins. While the Giants and Rays situations make sense, the Twins URL makes for a great, absurd, hilarious story. I don’t want to spoil too many tidbits about these brothers – remember, their names are Durland and Darvin – but here are a couple teasers:
Aside from living together, at one point they had complementary black and a white humvees.
They were in a successful San Francisco band…a “copy” band of course, and nearly made the finals of a national Battle of the Bands in the early 80s against eventual winner…Bon Jovi.
I want a 30 for 30 doc on these brothers, and I want it now. – PAL
TOB: I cannot recommend this story highly enough. It is completely absurd and I laughed out loud at least a half dozen times.
Under Armour & Maryland: The Next Oregon?
With Under Armour supplanting Adidas as the second largest sports apparel company, its founder and University of Maryland alumnus Kevin Plank is following in the footsteps of Nike’s Phil Knight. Like Knight has done for Oregon, Plank is putting big money into the University of Maryland. Under Armour recently signed a 10-year extension giving the university $33M in cash and gear. Additionally, Plank personally donated $25M for renovations to Cole Field House, which will house an entrepreneurship academy, the sports medicine department, and the Terrapin Performance Center. Money no doubt lifts athletic programs success, and billionaire alumni like Knight, T. Boone Pickens at Oklahoma State, and Plank serve as proof. It will be interesting how soon the investment will pay off at Maryland as a newcomer to a Big 10 Conference that includes the likes of financial giants Michigan and Ohio State, whose annual athletic departments’ budgets exceed $100M. – PAL
It’s been a bad couple of weeks for college football, and it is clear that major college sports are completely broken. As this Newsweek points out, college football is under siege on at least three fronts: (1) the dangers of playing football; (2) whether football players are employees and whether they should be paid; and (3) the value of education to a football player. There are a number of stories over the last two weeks illustrating these points: To wit:
After the NLRB rejected Northwestern players’ bid to unionize, Deadspin went in-depth on the negative ramifications for former Wildcats QB Cain Colter’s spearheading of the attempt. Unsurprisingly, Colter was ostracized by the Athletic Department and has suffered greatly.
In the article Phil discussed above, it is noted that $25M of the funds for the renovations to Cole Field House are coming from the State. Former student leaders wrote an op-ed objecting to this use of State funds, but their complaints fell on deaf ears.
Against near-unanimous consensus from the faculty, Auburn’s athletic department convinced the University administration to not eliminate the “Public Administration” major, a fluff major in which roughly half of the students were athletes. The athletic department saved the major by offering to directly pay Public Administration faculty and staff. That is insane. The chairman of Auburn’s economics department said that the athletic department at Auburn is so powerful that it operates like a “second university.” Auburn is not unique in this regard.
While reading about the drunken speech that USC head coach Steve Sarkisian gave at a booster event over the weekend, I was reminded of former Michigan football coach Gary Moeller’s firing back in 1995. Out of curiosity, I found an old article from the time. The article noted that Moeller’s salary was $130,000. Adjusted for inflation, that is $203,000. In contrast, last December Michigan hired Jim Harbaugh at its new head coach, at a salary of $7 million. That is approximately 35x more than Moeller’s inflation-adjusted salary.
This year, for the first time, college football players are being paid a small amount of money for “incidentals”. They receive a few thousand dollars for the year. What did some college coaches attempt to do? Institute a system to fine players of that cash for minor transgressions, of course. Look at this crap. $50 for a dirty dorm room. $50 for a dirty locker. $10 for missing breakfast. Virginia Tech wasted no time in implementing their fines, (when word got out the University quickly put a stop to it). Cincinnati wasted no time, either. These kids finally get a little pocket change (what amounts to less than $100/week), and millionaire coaches immediately start trying to take it away.
Every single one of these stories is embarrassing for the NCAA, and this was not an unusual week in terms of the number of embarrassing stories. I don’t know how we fix college sports, but the amount of money involved seems to be the root of the problem. There is so much money at stake that corners are going to be cut. That’s not ok, but it seems as though college sports are “too big to fail” and major changes are not coming anytime soon. -TOB
Russell Wilson is a corporate shill, devoid of personality, only serving as a vessel to endorse products. He is Derek Jeter 2.0 (in the least surprising news of the week, Jeter is Wilson’s role model). But that harmless and boring vacantness took a turn for the irresponsible this week, when Wilson, on both Twitter and an article in Rolling Stone, touted “Recovery Water”, a product for which Wilson is an investor, as helping him to prevent a concussion in last year’s NFC Championship game.
Wilson is an investor in Reliant Recovery Water, a $3-per-bottle concoction with nanobubbles and electrolytes that purportedly helps people recover quickly from workouts and, according to Wilson, injury. He mentions a teammate whose knee healed miraculously, and then he shares his own testimonial. “I banged my head during the Packers game in the playoffs, and the next day I was fine,” says Wilson. “It was the water.” Rodgers offers a hasty interjection. “Well, we’re not saying we have real medical proof.” But Wilson shakes his head, energized by the subject. He speaks with an evangelist’s zeal. “I know it works.” His eyes brighten. “Soon you’re going to be able to order it straight from Amazon.”
Recovery Water is freaking sparkling water, not a miracle cure for anything. In this article, brain researchers and doctors take Wilson to task for his irresponsible claim. Wilson is the worst. -TOB
As if being a professional athlete doesn’t attract enough leeches, try being one in Miami. It’s not surprising that con men are swindling athletes out of money, but I’m shocked at how easily careless and shortsighted folks get million-dollar checks from people. In this story, Miami Heat employees even facilitated the introduction between the scammers and Heat players Mike Miller, Rashard Lewis, and others. There is a new money culture in Miami that is the perfect breeding ground for scams. Columnist Fred Grimm (not this story’s author) sums up this way:
“So many of us come from other states and other countries that we seem to lack that sense of shame that doing wrong would bring to someone living in, say, small-town America, where people have known you and known your family for years. What we have instead is a place where someone who flashes money and drives luxury cars and lives the high life can find instant social acceptance.” –PAL
Source: “Taking the Heat”, Robert Andrew Powell, Grantland (08/18/2015)
Say Goodnight to the Bad Guy
There aren’t too many true “Bad Guys” in sports, but I think I found one. “New Jack” was a wrestler in the underground “ECW” (Extreme Championship Wrestling). The ECW was known for being, well, extremely violent. Absurdly so. New Jack was one of the more violent and infamous ECW wrestlers, and he was not a good person. In one match, he once beat an amateur wrestler unconscious – and then continued to beat him with weapons – including a cheese grater, a garbage can, and a crutch, at one point yelling, “I don’t care if the motherfucker dies!” The amateur, Jason Kulas, did not die. And New Jack escaped any consequences. When asked about it twenty years later, New Jack said, “I was high. I didn’t care. It didn’t matter to me. The fucking fans loved it. I thought it was great.” You know the famous scene in Scarface, when a coked up Tony Montana makes a scene in the fancy restaurant and then turns to everyone staring at him and gives his “Bad Guy” speech? New Jack was/is a true Bad Guy. He did truly insane things, but he was also insanely popular, even getting name-dropped by Weezer in El Scorcho (“…Watching Grunge leg drop New Jack through a press table, and then my heart stopped…”). In a truly fascinating profile, Grantland catches up with New Jack and tries figure out what made (and makes) this Bad Guy, who regrets nothing, tick. -TOB
Matthew Wallock was trying to find a used hockey goal for his young kids. He found one on Craigslist and went to pick it up. When he got there, he realized that the owners were the parents of NHL star Phil Kessel and US Women’s Hockey Player Amanda Kessel. A nice find. But he realized that the goal could not fit in his car. No matter. Mr. and Mrs. Kessel offered to drive the goal 40 minutes to Wallock’s house. And they did. To top it off, they threw in some hockey pucks and autographed photo of Phil for the kids. But that’s not all! Mr. and Mrs. Kessel then told Wallock that before they owned the goal, it was owned by hockey legend Bob Suter, a member of the 1980 Olympic Hockey “Miracle on Ice” team. Like I said, that’s a quality Craigslist find! -TOB
This is an old story, but in the wake of Day’s first Major victory at the PGA Championship last weekend, it’s worth taking a look at his unlikely path to the PGA. Unlike most PGA golfers, Day grew up in poverty in Australia. His father, an alcoholic*, died when Day was 12. Shortly thereafter, the son was following in his father’s footsteps as a 13 year-old. His mother mortgaged the house and sought out help to get her youngest boy into a sports academy. His coach at the academy remains his coach to this day, caddies for Day, and has long been a father figure to the 27 year-old golfer. There have been other challenges along the way, and I found Day’s honesty in this story refreshing (he admits that for the first few years as a professional he played for the money because he’d never had any, and sometimes he likes to check his bank account online just to see the money in there). As writer Shane Ryan puts it, “For the poor kid from Beaudesert who started with nothing but a sawed-off 3-wood, the hard part of this journey ended a long time ago. The miracle was getting to the threshold; the price of a major is just four rounds of golf.” Now Day has paid that price, too. – PAL
Because of political wrangling over upgrades to their stadium, the Biloxi Shuckers (in their first year in Biloxi), the AA affiliate for the Milwaukee Brewers, began their season on a 58-day, 54-game road trip. David Fleming (not of SF Giants announcing fame, of course) followed the team on the trip – which ended up even more eventful than he could have imagined. A great look at a team enduring the ups and downs of minor league baseball, magnified by the longest road trip in American sports history. Long, but highly recommended. -TOB
Source: “On the Road Again”, David Fleming, ESPN the Magazine (08/17/2015)
Hopefully this kid learns a lesson here, or he’s gonna be grow up to be an unbearable jerk. For now, this is hilarious – as he smarmily shakes off his catcher and then gives up a dinger.
“Let me tell you something about these tattoos, okay. That is Buddhist, that is Nordic, that is Hindu, that’s just gibberish. They are completely conflicting ideologies, and that does not make you a citizen of the world, it makes you full of shit!”
Yes, that is former NBA star Gilbert Arenas, surrounded by his winnings earned at the basketball shooting game at the Orange County fair. He was later banned from the game.
Ugh, the NFL.
As we are all aware, the NFL is mired in a crisis. The very game itself is destroying the brains of the men who play, which is a bit of a problem. Junior Seau is one of the more famous players to have suffered after his playing career was done. Less than three years after his retirement, Seau committed suicide. He did so by shooting himself in the chest, thereby preserving his brain for medical research. Next month, Seau will be inducted into the Hall of Fame. However, the NFL will not allow anyone from his family to speak on his behalf, apparently worried at what they might say about his death. This is the kind of spineless crap we have come to expect from Roger Goodell’s NFL, but it is no less infuriating than every other maddening decision that this bumbling doofus has made. The Hall of Fame claims they made this rule back in 2010 and it has nothing to do with Seau’s particular case, as if they didn’t institute this rule because of these exact situations. Charles P. Pierce is the perfect writer to tackle this story. -TOB
PAL: I think I watched 2 NFL games last year. This is not entirely out of protest; rather, a combination of indifference and b.s. saturation point. I enjoy a good football game, but the notion of devoting an entire Sunday to watching a game I’m nearly indifferent towards just doesn’t get me going. Just take a second to take the following in: The family of Hall of Fame inductee who committed suicide is not being allowed to speak on his behalf for this ultimate professional honor out of fear they will say something the PR team has to deal with after the fact. Cowards. I’m out.
Today We Spell Redemption: V – I – N.
Vin Baker was a really good basketball player that I enjoyed watching. But a few years ago he bombed out of the league, later revealing that he had a massive drinking problem and had squandered the nearly $100 million in career earnings he had made. He was completely broke. Since then, he had been a tragic figure in my mind – one of the those players who had it all, had achieved his dreams – and blew it. So, much to my happy surprise did I find this article – a feature on Vin and the turnaround he has made. Vin has been sober for over four years, which is a great accomplishment. On top of that, he is training to be a manager of a Starbucks, given the opportunity by the Starbucks CEO Howard Shultz, former owner of Vin’s old NBA team, the Seattle Supersonics. Vin was even asked by Jason Kidd to help out with the Milwaukee Bucks’ summer league team this summer. This is a light article on a guy who has turned his life around, and is not dwelling on what he lost, which is a truly refreshing perspective. -TOB
PAL: I love this story. I’ve had several conversations about retirement from sports. While I’m sure I’m way behind schedule, I feel like I became an adult relative recently (I’m 33). If I were a professional athlete, I’d be winding down down my career (and earning potential). It’s cool to hear about a former athlete who’s excited and driven by his career after sports (that has nothing to do with sports), and a hat tip to Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz for giving Baker an opportunity. This is a sincerely uplifting story.
1-2-3…Sports…Video Games!
This is a fun article wherein Deadspin writers reminisce on their favorite sports video games. So many great ones are represented, including Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out, Bill Walsh College Football ‘95, and Wii Sports. To add one to the list, I loved NCAA Football 2006 on the XBox. I got the game the year after college when I was doing a lot of not much. And I played that game a LOT. I played so many Dynasty Mode seasons I lost count. The California Golden Bears won a lot of National Titles and a lot of Heisman Trophies, I can tell you that. I routinely beat teams by scores of over 100 to 0. I got so good that I needed new ways of defining success – holding a team to negative yardage for a whole game was a big win; anything less was disappointing. Giving up points meant doing 20 pushups, etc. Ah, those were the days. So what’s your favorite sports video game and what do you miss about it? Comment below. -TOB
PAL: I would not be friends with this writer: “I played soccer in college, and so I lived with my teammates, and trained with them, and traveled with them, and fought with them, and drank with them, and played with them, and cried with them. We were brothers, always on the same side, fighting for the same thing. It was a great experience, and they’re my brothers to this day, but sometimes you just want to beat a motherfucker through the ground, because you’re 19 and invincible and have great abdominals and want to watch the world burn.”
Check out the 1-2-3 Playlist featuring all of our Song’s of the Week – 2 people have told me they really like it.
Video of the Week
Poor kid does NOT want to be there.
“One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. Oh, no, I said. Disneyland burned down. He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.”
Baseball is a weird game. We all know this. But sometimes it’s really weird. 1-2-3 Sports favorite Grant Brisbee hits the rewind button and takes us back to 1990, when Yankees pitcher Andy Hawkins threw a no-hitter and lost the game. By four runs. How does that happen? With two outs in the 8th of a scoreless game, it went: error, walk, walk, error, error, including two dropped fly balls that would have ended the inning. That is a weird game. As Hawkins said back in 1990, and again in 2015: That’s baseball. -TOB
No, not Pete Rose again. Did you know that golfer Phil Mickelson is a notorious gambler? A story broke this week wherein Mickelson was named as having bet $2.75M on various sports gambling bets. The money was later laundered, though Mickelson is not being investigated for the money laundering. That story is not all that interesting, but did lead me to some very entertaining Mickelson (and other golfer) gambling stories.
You Think You Know, But You Have No Idea: World Cup Pics Without The Ball
A fun half-story, half-game brought to you by the NYT: Here are some of the best photos and highlights from the Women’s World Cup, only with the ball removed. You get to place the ball where you think it should be, then compare it with where the ball actually is. You also get to see where everyone else guessed where the ball is. I’ll be honest, this is a great bathroom article, but I really enjoyed it. Light a match and get comfy. – PAL
Source: “Spot the Ball: Quarterfinals”, Alastair Coote, Sam Manchester, and Rumsey Taylor. Illustrations by Jennifer Daniel, The New York Times (6/30/15)
TOB: I took the quiz and was very mediocre. I did better than 59% of people who took it, which I’m reasonably happy with. There was one where I was in the 98th percentile. I note Phil neglected to tell us what he got.
Bobby Bonilla Hasn’t Played Since 2001; Is Still Very Well Paid
Bobby Bonilla was at one point a very good baseball player. He made six all-star teams, and came close to winning the MVP a couple times. But by 1999, he was no longer very good. In fact, he was very bad. He was so bad that the Mets decided they’d rather pay him to go away. His buyout clause was $5.9M. But the Mets were very shortsighted. Instead of paying Bonilla $5.9M in 2000, they deferred the buyout for a series of annual payments that begin in 2010. Those annual payments are $1.2M and last until the year 2035. 2035! That’s a total of about $30M, instead of $5.9M in 2000. Even with the value of money diminishing over time, that was a horrible decision. The Mets have been mostly bad for decades, and this is indicative of why.
Tall Men Play Baseball Game Poorly, Everyone Still Has Good Time
I want to go to the Dirk Nowitzki’s annual Heroes Celebrity Baseball Game. This event has everything. Ryan Cabrera: check. An unsigned Dez Bryant doing backflips: check. Hipster haircut Steve Nash making hustle plays at a charity event: check. Also, this is a celebrity baseball game. No soft-ass softball for this Texas-sized event. Related, how I miss Rock N’ Jock softball. There’s no game better suited for celebrity/charity events than is baseball or softball. – PAL
TOB: Man, Rock n’ Jock takes me back. I never really cared for the softball. The basketball was where it was at. The Violators vs. the Bricklayers. The 30-point basket at the end of each quarter was inspired, and watching chuckers like Antoine Walker try for it was always amusing, because you know that a 30-point shot was his true destiny. Seeing people like Jaleel White and Dean Cain and realizing that he could really ball was weird. It’s funny that this event was so popular – in middle school it was all people could talk about the week after it aired. RIP Rock n’ Jock basketball. RIP 30-point basket. The WNBA, or at the very least the NBDL, should adopt it.
Alexi Lalas with the Sweet Burn on Bitter Old Man Landon Donovan
Landon Donovan is still bitter about being left off the 2014 World Cup team. He is also an athlete and overestimates his intelligence and ability to be subtle. Alexi Lalas calls out bullsh-t when he sees it. Hence, the following Twitter conversation:
@landondonovan: Love the enthusiasm and veteran presence of @AbbyWambach despite not playing much. That kind of leadership is priceless during a WC
-Me, on Saturday, if Cal had managed to beat Utah. (Click the photo to open the video.)
1-2-3 SPORTS! 
