Exhibit A for why you should always wear an undershirt.

The Quiet Man

From media reports, Kawhi Leonard has long seemed like a different kind of dude. For one, he’s insanely quiet. He’s not the Bobby Bonds-type, though, who just doesn’t talk to the media because he was burned early in his career. Leonard is the kind of quiet that is not often seen in a celebrity or quasi-celebrity – Leonard is famous, though he would prefer not to be. But Kahwi is even quiet with teammates and friends. He just loves basketball. He doesn’t showboat on the court, he doesn’t get vocal with teammates or coaches. As his coach Greg Popovich says:

“When Kawhi makes a mistake, he’s almost apologetic….he doesn’t want to disappoint anybody. There are times he does something well, and I have to tell him, ‘That was super. That was fantastic. That was a helluva job. You can smile now. You can feel great about yourself….If I bring him out too early, for example, he’ll go like this”: Popovich curls up one side of his lip. “What he’s saying is, ‘Pop, why the f— are you bringing me out so early?’ but he’d never actually say that. So I tell him, ‘I’ll get back to you,’ and he nods and sits down.”

That’s rare for a player who has quickly become a superstar. Kawhi seems like a good dude. And thanks to 123 reader Jamie Morganstern for the anonymous submission. -TOB

Source: “The Island of Kawhi”, Lee Jenkins, Sports Illustrated (03/14/2016)

PAL: Sure, he wants to be great and doesn’t care about being a star. Sure he lives in a 2-bedroom apartment with his mom even though he just signed a $96M contract. All that good stuff. My favorite part of the story: He drives a 1997 Tahoe and freaks out when he misplaces his Wingstop coupons.

It’s Called Common Sense, Adam LaRoche

After a 12-year career, Adam LaRoche is retiring from baseball, and not because he hit .207 last year as an aging vet. He’s retiring – and walking away from $13M  – because the White Sox asked him to maybe not bring his son to the field every single day. No, seriously, every day. Who has to ask an employee to not bring the kids around work every day? You won’t read anything about it, but I bet my next paycheck there are a bunch of players at White Sox spring training thanking management. Also, this picture is so stupid. “Okay, LaRoche guys,” the photographer says. “Let’s get one with you walking under the passion, pride, and tradition bullshit. Yeah, perfect.” – PAL

Source: “Adam LaRoche Retired Because The White Sox Wouldn’t Let His Kid Hang Out In The Clubhouse Every Day”, Samer Kalef, Deadspin (03/16/2016)

TOB: I was really, really, really hoping Phil would have the opposite reaction to this story so that we could have had a really nasty debate. The best part is that I’m sure that White Sox management are high-fiving this week. They don’t have to pay a terrible, old baseball player $13M to hit below the Mendoza Line simply because they asked him to act like a professional and leave his child at home half the time. This was GM Kenny Williams this week:

And as usual, Grant Brisbee comes with a funny take.

The Seed (64.0)

This is hilarious. The head coach of every team in the NCAA Tournament was asked to name his favorite band/musical artist. Some of the results are hilarious. I don’t think I ever would have imagined Kansas’ Bill Self grooving to Luther Vandross. But now I cannot get that image out of my head. John Mayer? I knew you sucked, Sean Miller. Tad Boyle (Colorado) – MY MAN. My favorite, though, might be this:

John Calipari’s favorite band is Train. It would have taken me at least 6 hours to guess that, and I would have been desperate. How does a man whose favorite band is Train recruit young basketball players as well as Calipari does? Tip of the hat, Coach Cal. You’re one hell of a salesman. -TOB

Source: “Musical March Madness: Every NCAA Tournament Coach’s Favorite Band”, Matt Norlander, CBS Sports (03/14/2016)

PAL:  I heard Dave Grohl say on Marc Maron’s podcast that he doesn’t believe in guilty pleasures when it comes to music. I’m editing here, but the gist of it goes something like this – if you like something, like it. That’s what’s wrong with our generation: that residual punk rock guilt…I would agree with this, except for the following instance: Vanderbilt’s coach Kevin Stallings listed Vince Gill as his favorite. GUILTY of horrible music taste. Unforgivable.

Drew Brees is Peddling Good, Wholesome, Nutritious B.S.

Ever heard of “multi-level marketing”? It’s when the sales force is not only compensated for sales, but also for the sales of the other folks they recruit. Amway is built on multi-level marketing, and so is AdvoCare, a company which utilizes several athlete endorsements and boasts a workforce of over 640,000 employees, none more central than Drew Brees. The issue: Many multi-level marketing business models straddle the line of a pyramid scheme, which is illegal. This breakdown reminded me of this incredible This American Life episode about a similar company. The odd thing about some of these companies is how they mimic, well, cults, and oftentimes have a strong religious component at its core, never mind the fact that IT’S A SCAM.

Also at its core is the fact the the vast majority of money comes from recruiting new members and not from selling the products. The sporting connection – AdvoCare really jumped on the athlete endorsement train early. My problem is that, unlike endorsing shoes or a soda, Brees lends his the face of something that misleads folks in a way that can have devastating financial results. Some of the more interesting nuggets below. – PAL

• When the economy collapsed, millions of Americans were either out of work or looking for extra cash; AdvoCare’s message — work from home, make more money, design your own life — glimmered like an oasis.

• The basic concept is that the distributor should deflect questions about the company by replying, “Well, I don’t know about (X), but what I do know is” — and then referencing specific athletes or doctors who have vouched for AdvoCare.

• Of AdvoCare’s 517,666 salespeople in 2014, only 0.54 percent made $10,000 from the company and just 0.06 percent exceeded $100,000.

Source: “Drew Brees Has A Dream He’d Like To Sell You”, Mina Kimes, ESPN (03/15/2016)

Undermining Corporate Bloat is Fun

Halfway through CBS’ bloated, 2-hour NCAA Tournament Selection show on Sunday night, a leaked, complete bracket began circulating on Twitter. Multiple coaches said that they learned their team’s fate from text messages and Twitter upwards of an hour before CBS officially announced the matchup on TV. Oh, the glory of the modern age. For kicks, here’s a look back at an article from 2014 (B123E – Before the 1-2-3 Sports Era) on how the NCAA is so gosh darn effective at preventing such a leak. It’s actually pretty intense, with the Selection Committee members being sequestered on one floor of a hotel for 5 days, with no cell phones, all meals served in a conference room, etc., and outsiders not allowed to enter that floor. -TOB

Source: “How the NCAA Prevents Bracket Details From Being Leaked Before the Selection Show Airs”, Jeff Eisenberg, Yahoo! Sports (03/12/2014)

Video of the Week

One hero recreates 13 iconic March Madness shots.

PAL Song of the Week: Crooked Fingers – “Went To The City”

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My New Year’s resolution? Meet a loose woman.

-Dwight Schrute

Victoria: The Original Sports Catfish

Before “Catfishing” was a well-known term, before Manti Teo and his fake girlfriend, there was “Victoria”, likely the best student section prank in college basketball history. Cal student Steven Kenyon loved Cal basketball, and especially loved trying to get into opponents’ heads during games. Late in the 2006 season, with Cal needing to sweep UCLA and USC to close the season, Kenyon took things a step further. The week before the games, Kenyon created an AIM account – “SexyBruinBabe” – and instant messaged USC guard Gabe Pruitt (Kenyon had previously messaged UCLA guard Jordan Farmar, but was rebuffed). SexyBruinBabe, going by the name “Victoria” flirted with Pruitt, sending him pictures of a female Cal athlete, and asked if they could meet up when Pruitt and his teammates returned from their Bay Area road trip. Pruitt was quite eager, agreeing to meet with “Victoria” and giving her his cell phone number.

Kenyon distributed transcripts of the AIM conversation to the entire student section. The trap was set. Before the games, as the teams lined up for the National Anthem, students held up signs spelling C-A-L-L G-A-B-E, and listing his phone number. The students chanted “VICTORIA”. Immediately, Pruitt knew what had happened. Pruitt was rattled, went on to have a terrible game, and Cal emerged victorious. The “Victoria” prank is legendary among Cal fans. Now over ten years later, the main characters finally speak out – and it is a great read. -TOB

Source: “The Inside Story of Cal’s Catfishing Prank, Ten Years Later”, Jeff Eisenberg, Yahoo! Sports (03/03/2016)

PAL: Mr. Kenyon was a visionary – no doubt about it. What a perfectly executed prank. Let’s be honest and give Pruitt some leeway – there are more than a few among us who would’ve fallen for the same trap in 2006. Fun story that’s worth the read.

Bryce Harper and the Case Against Baseball’s Unwritten Rules

Man, Tim Keown always brings it. This time he tackles Bryce Harper, and it’s a great read. As Keown notes, many think Harper is a “douche”. Keown’s take? Nope. Harper is just really good, and he’s honest. There’s a lot of great stuff here (about Harper as a kid, coming up through the minors, and some great trash talk with a Giants fan during Game 4 of the 2014 NLDS, a game Phil and I attended).

But the most interesting part, especially in light of MLB Hall of Famer Goose Gossage railing against Jose Bautista this week for his bat toss in last year’s playoffs, is Harper’s vocal attempts to bring baseball into the 21st Century. Harper rails against the “unwritten rules”, and I could not agree more.

“Baseball’s tired,” he says. “It’s a tired sport, because you can’t express yourself. You can’t do what people in other sports do. I’m not saying baseball is, you know, boring or anything like that, but it’s the excitement of the young guys who are coming into the game now who have flair. If that’s Matt Harvey or Jacob deGrom or Manny Machado or Joc Pederson or Andrew McCutchen or Yasiel Puig — there’s so many guys in the game now who are so much fun. Jose Fernandez is a great example. Jose Fernandez will strike you out and stare you down into the dugout and pump his fist. And if you hit a homer and pimp it? He doesn’t care. Because you got him. That’s part of the game. It’s not the old feeling — hoorah … if you pimp a homer, I’m going to hit you right in the teeth. No. If a guy pimps a homer for a game-winning shot … I mean — sorry.” He stops, looks around. The hell with it, he’s all in. “If a guy pumps his fist at me on the mound, I’m going to go, ‘Yeah, you got me. Good for you. Hopefully I get you next time.’ That’s what makes the game fun.”

Preach, Bryce. -TOB

Source: “Sorry, Not Sorry”, Tim Keown, ESPN the Magazine (03/10/2016)

PAL: “Is false modesty any less distasteful than outward self-assurance?” Really interesting read that essentially comes down to that question. I find myself coming back to this internal tug-of-war when it comes to polarizing athletes. Why do I care if Harper is a d-bag? Why do I want this completely misguided assurance that I would like the guy when all I really want is to see great talents do their thing? For all I know, Hunter Pence could be a jerk to family and friends, but he’s the consummate team player, and that would be more than enough for me. The likable illusion still matters to me in most cases, and applying any logic to it falls apart in about five seconds. I think is has to do less with self-assurance and more to do with self-awareness. Russell Wilson is self-aware; Tim Lincecum (in his glory days) was self-assured.

A Mullet for All Seasons

We have two sports hair videos this week, and one sports hair story. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I’m borderline fascinated with athlete flair, and there’s no flair quite like sports hair. The MN high school BMOC’s – hockey players – lead off for us. Make sure to check out the video below.

“In all honesty, I was just looking for honorable mention and I got number two.” Humble words from a high school athlete participating in the legendary Minnesota State Hockey Tournament. Was he talking about his team’s finish? Nope – he’s talking about the ultimate honor – a place on All Minnesota Hockey Hair team. This now annual tradition (5 years running) has become legit viral now – so much so that there are stories being written about the players who find themselves featured in the video below. There are so many great nuggets written by my college buddy Louie Opatz, but my favorite detail of them all is this: “Jones had received a pregame haircut from Roxie at Wal-Mart’s SmartStyle Hair Salon that the senior described as, ‘a Vanilla Ice/Kenny Powers look — something crazy.'”

Let’s get Minnesota with it.

Source: “Jones just goes with the flow“, Louie Opatz, Litchfield Independent Review (3/9/16)

Now let’s move to another sport that attracts odd-balls: College Wrassling (not wrestling). There is nothing I can write that is better than what Big 10 Champ, Sammy Brooks (god, what a perfect name) says, so let’s just get to it:

“I think these fans just respond really well to a good haircut, so that’s what I was working on coming in here, making sure I had it fluffed and feathered the right way. I think the fans saw my hard work.

“I gain trust every time my hair grows a little more, and a little more I trust in myself and my mullet, so it’s a process, you know. You can’t grow a great mullet in a day. You can’t win a Big Ten title in a day.”

For cryin’ out loud, check out his video below, too, would ya? – PAL

Source: “Iowa Wrestler Only Talks About His Mullet After Winning A Match“, Samer Kalef, Deadspin (3/7/16)

It’s Back: Hockey Hair 2016.

Yessssssss. You know it, you love it. Enjoy the 2016 edition of the Minnesota State High School All-Hockey Hair Team. Though it’s a video, it deserves its own post. -TOB

Video of the Week

PAL Song of the Week: Little Barrie – “Better Call Saul Main Title Theme”

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You’re trying to kidnap what I’ve rightfully stolen.

–Vizzini

1-2-3 Sports: Killin the competition since 2014.

A Lesson in Compassion, Selflessness

Former NBA player and Pelicans head coach Monty Williams’ is beloved around the league. So the news of his wife’s death was met with exceptional sadness last week. You may remember Monty and his wife and the role they played in helping Pelicans’ star Ryan Anderson’s through grief after Anderson’s girlfriend, Gia Allemand, committed suicide. Monty’s wife was killed in a car accident when her car was struck by a woman,  Susannah Donaldson, who was driving 92 mph in a 45 mph zone. Donaldson also died. These deaths were senseless, and so avoidable. And Monty Williams is a better man than I am, because in his shoes, I would be so very angry. Instead, at his wife’s memorial, Monty Williams said this:

“Everybody is praying for me and my family, and that is right, but let us not forget that there were two people in this situation, and that family needs prayer as well. And we have no ill will toward that family. In my house, we have a sign that says ‘As for me and my house, we will serve the lord.’ We cannot serve the lord if we don’t have a heart of forgiveness. That family didn’t wake up wanting to hurt my wife. Life is hard. Life is very hard. And that was tough. But we hold no ill will towards the Donaldson family. And we, as a group, brothers united in unity, should be praying for that family, because they grieve as well.”

An incredibly selfless and compassionate sentiment. -TOB

Source: “Monty Williams Calls For Forgiveness in Powerful Speech at Wife’s Memorial Service”, Kevin Draper, Deadspin (12/18/2016)

PAL: This is one of those situations I’m grateful to have not experienced. When I think about moments of awesome compassion, bravery, or selflessness I just hope that I would be able to respond in the same way, but I seriously wonder. The grief would be so all-encompassing that there would simply be no room for compassion so soon after the tragedy. Also, if you haven’t read that Ryan Anderson story TOB linked to, you should. It will tell you all you need to know about Williams and his wife.

Capitalists for Relegation!

Relegation (and promotion) in the English Premiere league has long fascinated me. In the EPL, the three worst teams each year get demoted (relegated) to a lower division. Meanwhile, the top three teams from that lower division are promoted to the Premiere League. Relegation is supremely capitalistic. It’s hard to fathom as an American sports fan, where fortunes swing wildly from year to year, in large part due to the communist plot that is the draft. Unlike American sports, the EPL does not have a draft to help out its worst teams.

This year, storied English club Aston Villa faces nigh-sure relegation. As this article explores, the relegation/promotion system’s impacts are severe and tough to overcome for a relegated team. The financial hit is huge (at least $100M in TV money, not to mention ticket sales, etc.), and that is just the beginning. On the other hand, getting promoted is great! Leicester City is currently in first place in the EPL, just two years after being promoted (and nearly being relegated just last year). I don’t know how American sports could implement a Relegation system – but it sure would be exciting (and would end tanking once and for all). -TOB

Source: “The Ignominy of Aston Villa”, Elisha Cooper, Wall Street Journal (02/18/2016)

PAL: I can’t figure out a way where this would work in any of the 4 major sports in the U.S., but on the surface I sure do love the notion of relegation. There are consequences to your team sucking, and – Tommy’s right – this would end tanking. That said, I’m passing on relegation for the following reasons:

• I don’t need more “minor leagues” teams, because I don’t care about any minor league teams
• Hope – or delusion – springs eternal. No matter how bad last year was, we can wipe the slate clean and start over the next season. The reset button is fundamental to being a fan. Hope. I don’t like having that being threatened.
• One of the great pleasures of following a team is seeing the other great teams and players come through. I want to see the White Sox, the Dodgers, the Cardinals (the worst). I don’t want to see some Triple-A affiliate of said teams.

The Beginning: Baseball in the DR

I’m always a sucker for the stories about the reality side of a dream. In the Dominican Republic, the dream is ubiquitous – Baseball. Clearly, not all the prospects become the next Robinson Cano or Pedro, even the underachievers can change the trajectory of their families. The photos in this story really capture how far those dreams start from the Majors. It’s about time for baseball again, and this is the perfect first story of the year. – PAL

Source: “The Republic of Baseball”, Michael Hanson, The New York Times (02/18/2016)

Bernie the Baller

Last week, just before the polls closed in the New Hampshire primary, news stations aired footage of Democratic candidate Bernie Sanders shooting hoops.

As you can see, Bernie is pretty automatic. Surprising! It’s only about ten feet, but still. Impressive. This footage piqued a reporter’s interest and Les Carpenter sought out and interviewed some guys Bernie used to play with in a weekly game at a church gym back in the 1970s. The big take: Bernie was good, not great. He had a nice jumper (actually, a set shot). He was bossy and a little argumentative, but friendly, and he had sharp elbows. Sounds about right. It’s a fun read, and there’s a little nugget on how that weekly basketball game may be responsible for Sanders’ entire political career. -TOB

Source: “‘From Mid-Range He Could Kill You’: Bernie Sanders’ Basketball Days”, Les Carpenter, The Guardian (02/17/2016)

PAL: “[T]here is something about the game that reveals the truth about the person. The facades built in daily life don’t always withstand the heat of competition. As they tire, a player’s real personality always takes over.” Couldn’t agree more with this notion. But that shot is ugly, Bernie. I’m sure it was ugly when you were 30, and it’s ugly now. Just calling it like I see it.

Nothing Says Mediocre Quite Like PowerPoint

This is fantastic. University of Idaho sucks at football, so much so that its conference – The Sun Belt Conference (yes, a real conference) –  is not guaranteeing anything after 2017. So what did the Vandals do? Made a PowerPoint to show that they are…not the worst. No seriously, that’s what the PowerPoint lays out. Some of Idaho’s highlights include leading the Sun Belt Conference in the following statistical categories:

• Completion Percentage (ok, not a terrible stat)
• Fewest penalties (really, that’s your second bullet?)
• Fewest penalties per game (haha)
• Fewest penalty yards (this is the third penalty-related stat…in a PowerPoint making the case to keep the team in the conference)
• Tackles for loss allowed

I for one am convinced. Let them remain in the conference! The Sun Belt Conference is made up of teams the teams you’ve heard of play for an easy non-conference win. The teams kind of suck, and so does this PowerPoint. In other words, Idaho is a perfect fit for the Sun Belt. – PAL

Source: “The University of Idaho gave the world’s saddest PowerPoint presentation about its football team”, Mike Brown, SB Nation (02/18/2016)

TOB:

My takeaway? That’s a sorry ass conference.

Video of the Week

Current star NHL rookie Dylan Larkin of the Detroit Red Wings aka D-Boss, just a few years ago, as a fresh-faced sixteen year old. Just wearin the American flag, “snippin” wrist shots in his basement.

PAL Song of the Week: Linda Lyndell – “What A Man”

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“Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”

Cliff Clavin

Older Brothers (Except Me) are the Worst!

This is a pretty amusing story told by Eli Manning, about the way that his brother Peyton used to pick on him as a kid. That is them up there as kids. If you had an older brother, and especially if you grew up in a house with only brothers like I did, you know this story very well:

“[Peyton] would pin me down, you know, put his knees on my arms. He’d just start knocking on my chest until I named at the the time the 28 teams in the NFL. So I got smart eventually I could rip those off pretty quickly. We went college divisions, different things and then if he just wanted to make me cry he’d say, ‘Name ten brands of cigarettes.’ I’m like, ‘I’m seven years old I haven’t started smoking cigarettes quite yet,’ but that’s when I’d just start yelling for mom.”

Been there, Eli. My older brother would do the same, but he’d sing the ABCs and knock me on the chest one time for each letter. And then he’d get to X and pretend to lose his place and start over. Thanks, Sean. Justice came one summer day when my dad came home at lunch time for some reason and caught Sean in the act. -TOB

Source: “Young Peyton Had a Very Specific Way of Picking on a Younger Eli”, Mike Florio, Pro Football Talk (02/10/2016)

PAL: Shenanigans like this never happened in the Lang house. My older brothers supported me, mentored me on my spiritual journey…except that time Matt locked my in the hope chest in the family room. I had a bit of the ol’ claustrophobia as a child, you see. He and Libby laughed and laughed while I freaked out in a freaking hope chest. I could have died, Matt.

World Class Athletes & Working Stiffs: The Mavericks Lineup

It’s official: the Mavericks surf competition is going off today! I was lucky enough to work with some of the surfers competing this year to put together their surfing playlists a few months ago (check out their playlists here). In meeting them, I had to remind myself these are serious badasses. They aren’t big, they aren’t rich, and their ages range from teens to late forties. You wouldn’t be able to pick them out of lineup. Yet, in some folks eyes these unknowns are every bit the world class athlete as LeBron James. Is what they do any less impressive? Nope. And, you know, the chances of them being busted in half every time they drop into a wave is a bit more daunting than an Andrew Bogut foul. Here’s a nice summary of these extraordinary average joes and what they do for their day job. – PAL

Source: “Big-wave surfing: Meet the working stiffs of Mavericks”, Elliott Almond, San Jose Mercury News (02/11/2016)

You Gotta Fight For Your Right to…PB&J?

NBA players have really weird eating habits. If you’ve ever read ESPN’s True Hoop blog, you may have noticed that Henry Abbott like to point out all the times NBA players mention that the Cheesecake factory is their favorite place to eat. The Cheesecake Factory kinda sucks – the menu is way too huge – a jack of all trades, master of none situation. But for NBA players, on the road much of the year – it makes sense. If you want to eat dinner with six of your teammates, it’s a good place to ensure there is something for everyone. Plus, the portions are huge. And it is in every major or mid-major city in the country, and the food is consistent.

I thought of the NBA player/Cheesecake Factory thing when I read this bizarre story about the Warriors this week. After winning the title in June, the Warriors overhauled their diet/exercise program for the players. Gone were cookies, candy, and sodas from the training table and charter flights. Also gone were peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. This would be very inoffensive to me. PB&J is alright. I liked them as a kid. As an adult? Man, that’s a boring meal!

“Contrary to popular belief, peanut butter and jelly have no visible feelings for each other.”

But the Warriors players, amidst their all-time best 48-4 start to the season, were in near-revolt, led loudly by assistant coach Luke Walton and quietly by MVP Steph Curry. Did they get their PB&J back? Click the link to find out. This article is really funny. -TOB

Source: “How Golden State Went to War Over Peanut Butter and Jelly”, Ben Cohen, Wall Street Journal (02/01/2016)

Quiz Break! You be the judge: Catch or No Catch

Last football story of the year for me. We’ve all watched enough football, and after the last couple of years, I think we can all admit that we really don’t know what constitutes a catch in the NFL. Even TOB, who I hate to admit knows most of the rules in the major sports, was proven wrong while watching the Pittsburgh – Cincinnati playoff game.

Time to test your skills, folks. Watch these catches, vote catch or no catch, and see if you know as much as NFL officials. Just kidding – they have no idea what a catch is either. – PAL

Source, “Catch. No Catch. You Make the Call”, John Branch, The New York Times (02/01/2016)

TOB: True, when we were watching live, I said no catch on that front flip/butt catch by Martavis Bryant. It was ruled a catch. However, from the article:

“In a telling example of the confusion that this issue has caused, the N.F.L.’s vice president for officiating, Dean Blandino, said the next day, “I don’t think this is a catch.” The ball appeared to be out of his control as Bryant took his steps before flying out of bounds, Blandino said, but there was not enough evidence to overturn the touchdown call by officials on the field.”

I got a 5 out of 7 on the quiz – but it was really a 6 out of 7, because I remembered the Larry Fitzgerald catch and selected “no catch” on purpose, out of protest, because that was not a god damn catch.

PAL: It wasn’t 6 out of 7. You scored 5 out of 7. There is no grey. If you want to protest, then do it on your own time. We’re trying to run a goddamn sports blog here.

Video of the Week

Eli’s reaction to Peyton winning his second Super Bowl, bringing them even:

PAL Song of the Week: Bob Dylan – “On A Night Like This”

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“What’s the guy, 40 years old? He’s got to meet Julia Louis-Dreyfus! What kind of person is that?”

-LD

Sup Bro 50 Edition!

All Hail Eddie D!

Eddie DeBartolo, Jr. is known as one of the greatest owners ever. Under his supervision, the San Francisco 49ers quickly went from a perennial also-ran to the greatest franchise in the NFL, quickly. Eddie D’s teams won five Super Bowls in 22 seasons, from 1977 to 1998. DeBartolo had to give up the team in 1998, suspended for one year after pleading guilty to a felony. DeBartolo’s crime? Failing to report that he had been extorted, which is just the most unfair crime I can think of. 49ers fans might tell you that Eddie’s real crime was electing not to return to the team after his suspension, ceding control of the team to his sister, Denise, her husband, John, and eventually their son, Jed. *shudder*

But what many probably don’t know is that DeBartolo treated his employees, not just the players, like family. And this isn’t lip service. This is jumping on a cross-country flight at a moment’s notice to say goodbye to a former player, dying in a hospital room. This is jumping on another plane, in the middle of the night, and again flying cross-country – this time to personally tell a longtime employee and friend that her son, a San Jose Police Department officer, had been shot and killed in the line of duty. This is caring for a former player who had cancer. And I’m not talking paying the guy’s medical bills. Oh, Eddie did that. But Eddie actually drove 40 minutes to take the guy to his chemotherapy appointments, waiting with him, and then driving him home. This is paying a former player, who was injured and partially paralyzed during a game in 1989, a lifetime contract. The team still pays the player $100,000 per year.

I could go on, and the article does. A lot of people donate lots of money to just causes. And that is necessary and great. But there is something special reading about how Eddie DeBartolo, Jr. truly cared about people – his employees really were treated like family. I certainly did not know this side of DeBartolo. I’m glad I now do. -TOB

Source: “Former 49ers Owner Eddie DeBartolo Has His Own Fall of Fame”, Daniel Brown, San Jose Mercury-News (01/29/2016)

PAL: I knew DeBartolo was adored here, and now I have a better idea of why that is. I also didn’t know that he voluntarily gave up control of the 49ers after serving that suspension. Great article.

Is Hosting the Super Bowl Good for SF?

You know what’s great about getting older? You realize what a waste of time it is to be a cynic. At some point, you just stop caring about what’s cool, and not in an ironic way. When someone asks if you mind meeting up in the Marina you respond, “Man, I just want to have a beer and hang out.”

I want you in that frame of mind as we step out onto the thin ice that is Super Bowl 50. Is it a shitshow in our city while happening 45-miles from San Francisco, or is it just the next thing we love to crap on? Is a temporary inconvenience acceptable for an opportunity to highlight this beautiful city, or is the fact that San Francisco ultimately a wonderful place already accepted the world over and needs no further showcase? Berkeley resident and SI writer Chris Ballard puts forth a pretty measured argument here. Ultimately, I don’t really care, but I don’t mind either. It’s the response that ought to terrify 49ers once Super Bowl City circus leaves town. Moving them to Santa Clara just might elicit the same response from the locals in a few short years. -PAL

Source: “It’s one big SB50 party in Bay Area, but many residents want no part of it”, Chris Ballard, SI.com (2/4/16)

TOB: This article touches on a lot of feelings that I have about Super Bowl week. The first is resentment over the 49ers move to Santa Clara. If the 49ers want to play there, then good riddance. But don’t come groveling back to San Francisco now that you need us.

The second is the wasted tax dollars. The SF politicians who ok’d this – at least $5M in unreimbursed expenditures, not to mention all the lost productivity downtown due to road closures, etc., really get me going, too. As I noted, those expenses are not going to be reimbursed by the NFL (unlike those for Santa Clara, which will be). I read earlier in the week that a county supervisor said that promising not to seek reimbursements from the NFL was part of the bid – that the Bay Area would have lost the bid if San Francisco didn’t promise this.

First, so what? Second, it shows complete ignorance of the NFL’s Super Bowl bidding system. The NFL has made a habit of awarding the game to cities that build new stadiums (recently: Indianapolis and New Jersey). Santa Clara was getting its game. So why did San Francisco care so much if Santa Clara got the bid?

Today I read an article in the New York Times wherein the President of the SF Chamber of Commerce said the city would easily make back the money it put in, and then adds that there is further benefit because the Super Bowl is a “worldwide event that will sell San Francisco.” Dude. It’s SAN FRANCISCO. It doesn’t need to be sold. This is not Jacksonville (offense intended). We don’t need the exposure. Frankly, while the hotels may be slightly more full, San Francisco is popular enough that this isn’t a huge boon to tourism. There are always tourists here. Besides, if they held all the events in Santa Clara, most people would still have stayed in San Francisco. So, we gain very little and give up a lot. Seems like a bad deal. Also, Phil and I went to Super Bowl City on Saturday. It was so awful, crowded, boring and dumb and there was nothing to do but stand in long lines for corporate branded events, that we quickly left to drink some beers and play some pool at a nearby dive bar. We had a great time, and I was reminded why I love San Francisco.

If You Didn’t Win Powerball, At Least You’re Not John Elway

Like many people, my family’s (relatively meager) investments took a hit in the early part of 2016. Reading this story made me feel a little better. In 1999, just before his retirement from the NFL, John Elway was offered by team owner Pat Bowlen a 10% stake in the Denver Broncos for just $15M. He was offered a further stake of 10% more in exchange for giving up $21M in deferred compensation. He was also offered right of first refusal if the Bowler Family ever decided to sell its stakes in the team. Elway declined. It wasn’t because he didn’t have the money – Elway had recently sold his auto dealership empire for $82M. Elway instead invested $15M in a Ponzi scheme. Elway lost almost half that investment, the first in a series of failed investments that Elway made in the late-90s and early 00s.

Cry for Elway: “the 20 percent stake he passed on, based on a Forbes 2015 valuation of the team at $1.94 billion, is now worth $388 million, which would have been a 646 percent return on the 1998 investment, adjusted for inflation, had he made it.” Today, Elway is a team executive with no ownership stake. Whoops. Like I said – now I don’t feel so bad. -TOB

Source: “How John Elway Missed Out on a Fortune”, Darren Rovell, ESPN.com (02/03/2016)

PAL: I spoke to Elway on the phone tonight and asked him to comment. His response: “Why you gotta do that, man? You don’t think it’s the first thing to cross my mind in the morning and the last thing I think about at night before I fall asleep? You really think I worry about Peyton Manning? Nah, bro. But, you know…One love, brother. I mean, I’ve accepted it, you know? Seriously, I have. I HAVE, OK.

TOB: Interestingly, I HAVE talked to John Elway on the phone. I was 16. He was in Tahoe for the annual celebrity golf tournament. A friend worked at Caesar’s and told us that he was one of the few celebrities that did not use a pseudonym. So, a friend and I simply called the hotel and asked for John Elway. I was transferred to his room and he actually answered. We chatted a few minutes. I told him he is awesome, he said “thanks” and “dude” a lot. And that was that.

Send It In…Cristiano?

In a week dominated by the Super Bowl, a simple article about the other football had me texting TOB:

PAL: Link:

TOB: Haha. That’s an 8 foot hoop for sure

PAL: Watch the video: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQvpYFbUuIo

TOB: Yeah he does have some serious hops

TOB: But that’s still an 8 foot hoop

PAL: But can he dunk?

PAL: I say yes

PAL: Definitely a soccer ball

TOB: Yeah, I think so. If those photos aren’t doctored.

Who are we talking about? Cristiano Ronaldo. Deadspin ran a very simple story: Can Ronaldo dunk? This was based off of a photo that – I agree with TOB – seems to pretty clearly show Ronaldo dunking on a kids hoop that looks as if it were purchased from the sporting goods aisle at Target.

However, further footage* shows how much of an athletic freak this dude is. This is by no means a great story, but definitely a captivating half-assed investigation. I’ve concluded there is no friggin’ doubt Cristiano Ronaldo can flush it on a 10-foot hoop. -PAL

Source: “Can Cristiano Ronaldo Dunk?”, Greg Howard, Deadspin (2/3/16)

*Yes, TOB, Esq. – assuming these are not doctored photos. I choose to be an optimist. I choose to believe.

TOB: Upon further consideration, he’s 6’1, which isn’t tall but isn’t short. But he’s an unbelievable world-class athlete. The photos are not doctored. Of course he can dunk. He still sucks.  #Messi4Life.

Breaking: NFL Continues to Be the Worst

Quick background: For many years, even once sports became regularly televised, the leagues and the networks lacked the foresight to retain the footage. You may remember our story about how the only footage of Game 7 of the 1960 World Series was discovered in Bing Crosby’s wine cellar after his death. Well, somehow, both the NFL and CBS failed to retain a copy of Super Bowl I, played in 1967 between the Green Bay Packers and Kansas City Chiefs. The game was believed to be lost to the ether, Green Bay’s dominance only visualized in an ever-dwindling number of memories.

Or using images like this, from halftime of that game. Times sure have changed.

Until 2005. That year, a childhood friend of a then-36 year old man by the name of Troy Haupt read a story about how the NFL did not have a recording of the first Super Bowl, and remembered an old box in Troy’s mom’s attic that said “Super Bowl I”. Troy and his mom found the tapes and had them restored. Haupt, through a lawyer, has been trying to sell the tapes to the NFL for $1,000,000. Some might find this greedy – but consider what it’s likely worth to the NFL in advertising once they decide to air it alone. Really, he might be offering them a bargain. But the NFL, of course, sees things otherwise. They believe that, because they own the content, that Haupt cannot sell it to anyone but them, or be faced with a lawsuit. The NFL originally offered Haupt just $30,000, and now claim they are not interested in the tapes at all. The NFL recently even stepped in and killed a deal between Haupt and CBS.

For his part, Haupt says he wants to sell the tapes jointly with the NFL and donate some of the proceeds to charity. The NFL has no interest. As things stand, the tapes remain in Haupt’s possession, awaiting someone to knock some sense into Roger Goodell.

Source: “Out of a Rare Super Bowl I Recording, A Clash with the N.F.L. Unspools”, Richard Sandomir, The New York Times (02/02/2016)

Video of the Week

Damn, Whitney. R.I.P.

PAL Song of the Week: Lord Huron – “Meet Me in the Woods”

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Dog Enters Half-Marathon; Finishes 7th, Proves Owner Wrong

In Alabama earlier this month, a dog escaped from its home and ran over to the starting area of a half-marathon about to begin. When the racers started, so did Ludivine, a 2 ½ year old hound dog. That cute doggie up there is Ludivine. Undoubtedly trying to prove wrong his owner, who called Ludivine “actually really lazy”, Ludivine ran the whole damn race!

Ludivine was able to overcome distractions like dead rabbits on the side of the road, and the need to romp through streams and sniff yards the course passed by during his race. Ludivine finished in 1:32:56, good for 7th place. Good boy, Ludivine. Good doggie. -TOB

Source; “Hound Bandits Half Marathon in Alabama”, Megan Hetzel, Runners World (01/22/2016)

Ciara Deserves Better

Russell Wilson and Ciara (a very hot pop star) are a couple. Russell Wilson thinks he’s a brand – a squeaky clean, god-lovin’, no-humpin’-till-we’re-married, cliche-spewin’, Super-Bowl-winning brand. In fact, no one really likes him. You know what else he is? Lazy with the compliments for his lady. I can deal with the cliches, Russ. As a romantic, I’m offended you googled “how to compliment women”, copied and pasted, posted it on twitter, and no doubt thought, “I’m such a good boyfriend.” Incorrect, fraud! – PAL

Source: “Russell Wilson Googled “How To Describe A Beautiful Woman To Find Something Nice To Say About Ciara”, Barry Petchesky, Deadspin (1/28/16)

TOB: As Phil notes, Russell Wilson sucks. He’s so disingenuous that it raises an interesting question for me: Wilson famously spends many hours each week at Children’s Hospital of Seattle, cheering up kids who are enduring untold suffering. That is without question a great thing to do. But the fact that Russell Wilson is so public about it, and with everything else we know about him – he’s a #Brandbot – it makes me fairly confident in positing that Wilson only goes to the Children’s Hospital so that he can pat himself on the back, and have others pat him on the back, for doing so. In a way, is Wilson expending only his time and then using sick children to further his #Brand? Ugh.

I Was Born For The Theatre!

If All-Star games are truly about the spectacle, which they are, then someone had a very great idea. The McDonald’s All-American dunk and 3-Point competitions, featuring the best high school basketball players in the US and Canada, will be held at a theater!

How cool is this? Very cool. Makes you think of other options for dunk competitions. Have it on an aircraft carrier, have it on on Alcatraz…have it in Rockefeller Center. Time to think even more out of the box for these exhibitions, especially ones as stale as the dunk competition. – PAL

Source: “The McDonald’s All-American dunk contest will be in a real theatre with balconies and stuff”, Rickey O’Donnell, SB Nation (01/28/2016)

TOB: Great find, Phil. That will be appointment television.

Young, Dumb, and In Love

Manny. Manny, Manny, Manny. Manny. You are 23 years old. You’re an amazing baseball player. You’re rich. (Though the five-million dollars you will make this year is pittance compared to most players of your ability, it’s still a lot of money). And I get it – your wife is very good looking. But…man, a HUGE tattoo of her face on your arm?

Manny, Manny, Manny. I don’t want to suggest you WILL regret this one day – but if you ever do, you are going to wonder what in world you were thinking. You can’t cover that up, man! I wish you the best, though. -TOB

Source: “Orioles Star Manny Machado Gets Wife’s Face Tattooed On His Arm”, Jonas Shaffer, Baltimore Sun (01/28/2016)

Video of the Week

PAL Song of the Week:

Nina Simone – The War On Drugs – “Red Eyes”

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Portrait of the Quarterback as a Whining Baby

This story of former Washington State Quarterback Connor Halliday should be required reading for all football players entering college. Halliday was a prolific college QB, as many QBs have been in Mike Leach’s offensive system. But Halliday was hurt late in 2014, his senior year, and went undrafted. There’s a lot to unpack here, because frankly, Halliday comes off as a spoiled brat.

He will not miss 2015. During last spring’s NFL draft, Halliday, who was recovering from a major injury, did not hear his name called. Then, after the Washington Redskins signed him to a free agent deal, he ditched rookie camp. Vanished. Played golf “until the money ran out.” Got married. Was signed by a Canadian Football League team and then cut a day later. Got dumped by his wife.

“I had a second interview with an advertising agency the other day,” the handsome, auburn-haired Halliday says. “The interviewer made a big deal about being a leader in the classroom. I told him that my major was leading an offense. That every decision I made in college was designed to get me to the NFL.”

Halliday looks out the window and contemplates why he walked out on the Redskins. “I was so down, and I felt so little,” he says. “I felt so helpless. I have battled through so much, and I have never gotten a reward for this.”

To recap: Halliday spends his entire 5-years in college worried about the NFL, not his education. Then, when he gets hurt, he still gets a shot at the NFL. Instead, he quits, runs home to play golf, and then whines that he has “never gotten rewarded.” Wow. And the article has so much more to make you dislike this guy. Kids, don’t be like Connor Halliday. -TOB

Source: “Connor Halliday Was a Lock for the NFL – Until He Found All the Doors Locked”, John Walters (01/17/2016)

Hit the Road, Hack-a-Shaq

Over the last couple years, a few teams have become quite brazen in their practice of the so-called “Hack-a-Shaq” – fouling horrendous foul shooters like DeAndre Jordan and Andre Drummond away from the ball to force them to shoot free throws. This works as a form of defense. The Rockets, always at the forefront of strategic analytics, took this practice to the extreme this week – fouling Andre Drummond repeatedly at the start of the third quarter. But it worked – Drummond went 5 for 18 from the free throw line in three minutes before the Pistons finally gave in and removed Drummond, a dominant defensive player, from the game. Just look at this god awful play by play:

As Kevin Draper points out – the NBA deserves this. This problem has been growing the last few years, but the NBA declined to tweak the rules to fix this problem last summer. I was watching ESPN’s studio show on Wednesday night, when this occurred, and Jalen Rose and Chauncey Billups said that there doesn’t need to be a rule change because this is only happening to a few players across the league. Well, millionaires, tell that to the fans to pay their hard-earned money to come watch a game and are treated to eighteen rim-breaking free throws in 3 minutes of play (which probably took closer to 30 minutes in real time). I get the argument that the players should just improve their shooting. But the NBA must remember that its main goal is to entertain. That is not entertaining. Mr. Silver, change the rule. -TOB

Source: “The Rockets Just Took Intentional Fouling to Its Logical Extreme”, Kevin Draper, Deadspin (01/20/2016)

PAL: Philosophically, I don’t want this rule to change. I would like to see this play out. Do players like Drummond (and his team) become neutralized because of one major flaw in his game overshadows the advantages is gives his team? Do the teams applying the Hack method have the wherewithal to actually continue to do this, or would individual opinions on this method cause a rift between coaches, management, and players? I’d like to see this play out, but I don’t want to watch it, and that’s the larger point. If this problem persists, I would like to see a rule change after this season.

NFL Coaches Don’t Need Analytics; Just Grade School Math

Last week, the Packers completed quite possibly the greatest drive in NFL history. The Packers started the drive at their own 14, with 1:50 to go and no timeouts, and needing to go 86 yards for the touchdown. Look at this photo, and marvel at the fact that the Packers ended up scoring a touchdown on this drive:

4th and 20. From their own 4. Every receiver is blanketed. Rodgers is scrambling for his season, in his own endzone. That’s about as low a possibility for conversion as you will see. And yet, Rodgers threw up what amounted to a Hail Mary, and completed it, for 60 yards. The Packers were in business, but there wasn’t much time. With 4 seconds left, Rodgers dropped back again, and completed another Hail Mary (his second of the drive, his third of the season), this time as he was falling to the ground, about to be hit by a defender.

The Packers found themselves down 1 and decided to kick the extra point. In the emotion of the moment, I was pleading with them to go for 2. But is that the right call? Well, FiveThirtyEight’s Benjamin Morris uses some simple math to argue that they absolutely should have gone for two. Even more convincingly, he argues that the Chiefs, after scoring a TD to cut the lead from 14 to 8, should have also gone for 2, which coaches have almost never done. Interesting stuff. -TOB

Source: “NFL Coaches Are Getting Away With Crimes Against Middle-School Math“, Benjamin Morris, FiveThirtyEight 01/21/2016)

College Football Team Falls Just Short of Dynasty

And by just short, I mean to say that the team never existed. Here’s an entertaining read about how a guy went from poring over football scores in the sports page to creating an undefeated team with a Chinese-Hawaiian Heisman hopeful.

In the spirit of other great sports hoaxes like Sidd Finch, I bring you the story of The Plainfield Teachers College football team of 1941. – PAL

Source: “The Greatest Hoax in Sports Reporting History (The Times Fell for It, Too)“, Bill Christine, The New York Times (01/15/2016)

TOB: This is great. I really like this passage:

In The Philadelphia Record, Red Smith was still writing about Plainfield in 1956. It was the era of Norman Kwong, a Chinese-Canadian who was a star in the Canadian Football League:

“The China Clipper, as they call him, is reputed to be almost as good as John Chung, the Celestial Comet, whose triple-threat genius put the Plainfield Teachers in the headlines 15 years ago. A minor point of difference between the two: John Chung didn’t exist, and neither did the Plainfield Teachers, except in the imagination of Morris Newburger, who created the college, team and star as a sports page hoax. Chung was the prototype of all the galloping ghosts and flying phantoms that clutter the autumn editions. Kwong is as corporeal as meat loaf.”

Cop Shoots Hoops

This is pretty cool. Some jerk called in a complaint to the Gainesville, FL police about kids playing basketball too loudly. At 5pm. In what looks like a rural area. So an officer responded. Approached the kids…and then shot some hoops with them for a few minutes. He even got them to lower the rim so he could dunk! -TOB

That’s a good cop.

Source: “Cop Responds to Noise Complaint of Kids Playing Basketball by Lowering Rim and Dunking on Them“, Patrick Redford, Deadspin (01/22/2016)

Video of the Week

Student sections take note. The @SheridanStuSect knows how to put on a show. pic.twitter.com/2BW2YH6bv8

— Storied Rivals® (@StoriedRivals) January 20, 2016

This is an excellent free throw distraction.

Bonus Video of the Week

This is why brothers should never compete against each other.

PAL Song of the Week: Willie Nelson – “Buddy”

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Actual caption A-Rod wrote for this pic: “Just another day at ARod Corp – signing baseballs for fans and managing my inbox #OfficeLife“. SMDH.

A Man, A Citibike, and a Dream

This story is kind of amazing. 35-year old Jeffrey Tanenhaus was working an office job he hated. Living in NYC, his one daily joy was riding Citibike – New York’s bike sharing program – to and from work. Tanenhaus loved the concept and the execution. So one day, he quit his job, terminated his lease, got a Citibike, and took off across the country. If you’ve ever used a Citibike (I’ve used the equivalent in SF and D.C.) you understand how amazing this is. Those bikes are like little tanks. They are heavy, not that fast, and they are brutal on hills. On his trip, Tanenhaus made one potential love connection in Tulsa, Oklahoma that he is still in contact with (but he was not using Tinder on his travels. Bro, you gotta get on Tinder. So I hear…) and also was nearly murdered by a crazed-man (not kidding – a man stopped his truck and attacked Tanenhaus, saying that he hates bicyclists. Later that evening the man broke a baseball bat on his roommate’s head and tried to kill his neighbor with a battle axe). It’s not clear yet what Tanenhaus plans to do next. He left NYC in August, and expects to finish his trip next weekend. But at least he’s no longer métro, boulot, dodo, as the French say. Good for him. -TOB

Source: “Everyone Has a Dream. For Jeffrey It Was Riding a Citibike Across America“, Arwa Mahdawi, The Guardian (01/13/2016)

The Flip Side of Kentucky Basketball: Gopher Hockey

We are all familiar with where John Calipari has driven Kentucky basketball. He’s taken advantage of insane NBA rules prohibiting high school players from going directly to the NBA and created a feeder system. Many of the top prospects go to UK with no intention of staying on campus beyond 1+ semesters. Kentucky isn’t the only feeder in college sports. For all of my life, University of Minnesota Hockey was the dream of every kid in Minnesota. A tradition I imagine is similar to that of a storied college football team. They built an NHL stadium – for a college hockey team – and sold the joint out every game. Hell, Herb Brooks – a Bear Bryant figure in hockey – coached there. You want tradition? It wasn’t that long ago that the U of M exclusively recruited Minnesota players while consistently remaining a national powerhouse. Over the past 10 years, the hallowed – and I don’t use that term lightly – program has become a stepping stone. The team is filled with 1st round NHL draft picks. The only problem is the team now sucks. Unlike basketball, two 5-star recruits doesn’t translate to success in hockey. People are pissed, and not just fans. One NHL scout had this to say about players at Minnesota: ‘“If a kid is going to Minnesota,’ says one NHL scout, ‘concerns are openly discussed in our rooms about how it might affect his development.’”

To be fair, the role of college hockey has changed. In this story, Cory Zurowski points out that “A decade ago, roughly 20 percent of NHL rosters consisted of college players. Today, the number is closer to one in three, making the collegiate ranks the fastest-growing path to million-dollar contracts.” That is to say, the Gophers are a mess, but I shouldn’t be surprised. Thanks, Lisa Lang for passing this one along…I still live vicariously through if my niece and nephew if they donned the M sweater. – PAL

Source: “What happened to the University of Minnesota Hockey Program?” Cory Zurowski, City Pages, ℅ Lisa Lang (01/13/2016)

TOB: I have no dog in this Coach vs. Alumni fight. And while some of the excuses make sense (e.g., Minnesota fans are spoiled rotten and need to get used to the fact that there are now 60+ programs competing hard in college hockey, and thus there will be parity; the age difference between the Gopher squads filled with young stars vs. the aged veterans at smaller schools who washed out of semi-pro leagues), Coach Lucia also seems full of it. For example, when defending his offer of scholarships to younger and younger players, some as young as 15, Lucia says this:

“The hard part becomes, at some of these ages, you don’t know when you have to do it,” Lucia says. “Somebody else could come behind the scenes, bring in a kid and offer him and tell him he’s got a week to decide…. All of a sudden he’s gone. He’s off the board. And so that’s sometimes the hard part. Do we have to recruit this kid in 11th grade? Do we have to recruit him in 10th grade? Or do we have to recruit him in ninth grade?”

His excuse is that he’s simply keeping up with the Joneses. But this writer gets something very wrong, and it seems to be coming from Coach Lucia: Minnesota is not “signing” these kids at 15. Players cannot sign until their senior year (and even then, in specific periods of time during the year). Scholarship offers are not binding until that time. But Coach Lucia is acting as though, by being forced to offer young players, he is then tied to them for good. That’s simply not true.

How College Athletes Can Quickly Retake Power

As we’ve chronicled here before, college sports is an absolute mess. This is a great and well-researched op-ed published last weekend, ahead of this past Monday’s college football National Championship Game, by sports agent Donald Yee. Yee argues persuasively that college football players have much more power than they currently wield, and that it would not take much for them to take that power back. Yee argues that a mass protest, such as the players for Clemson and Alabama to refuse to play Monday’s game, would have quickly and convincingly tipped the balance of power in college football back to the players. As someone who does love a little chaos, I would have thoroughly enjoyed this. -TOB

Source: “College Sports Exploits Unpaid Black Athletes. But They Could Force a Change”, Donald Yee, The Washington Post (01/08/2016)

Jimmer: Just Go to Europe, Dude

Jimmer Fredette is just one of those guys: A great college player because of a great, singular talent: He can shoot the rock. But where Jimmer was able to excel in college, he failed in the pros. He was not quick enough, and didn’t have the dribbling ability, to consistently get a clean look at the basket. And he could not defend. At all. So, despite being one of the greatest college scorers of all time, in the NBA, he sucked. Jimmer is back, though. Sorta. He’s now tearing up the D-League, playing for the Westchester Knicks, in front of crowds far smaller than he did at BYU.

Jimmer professes in this article that his goal it to get back to the NBA – to prove he can cut it. But my question is: Why? My other question: Is the stated goal sincere? He kind of seems to be enjoying the heck out of once again being the big man on campus, so to speak. Sometimes in life, we need to accept our fate. Jimmer, you’re never going to make it in the NBA. Go to Europe, shoot twenty-five times a game, and make some good money. Stop riding the bus in Westchester, chasing the impossible. Also, I still can’t believe the Kings took Jimmer over guys like Kawhi Leonard, Klay Thompson, Brandon Knight, Jimmy Butler, Chandler Parsons and Kemba Walker. Holy hell, the Kings suck. -TOB

Source: “Jimmer Fredette is the Steph Curry of the D-League”, David Vertsberger, Vice Sports (01/07/2016)

PAL: In baseball, Jimmer would be what you call a “quadruple A player”. Too good for the minors, not good enough for the majors. And – holy shit – I can’t believe he was taken before that list of dudes in the draft…then looked up who was taken before Steph Curry, including:

• Hasheem Thabeet
• Tyreke Evans
• Ricky Rubio
• Jonny Flynn

Draw Bored

Not so long ago we featured a story about a cool tradition of the Minnesota Vikings (Donut Club). I like stories about weird traditions amongst teams. Thanks to 123 Sports reader, Alex Denny, I had the pleasure to learn a bit more about Hawks’ youthful tradition. The notion of a bunch of millionaires playing Uno on a chartered flight is nothing but great. Al Horford: “…you can only watch so many movies.” – PAL

Source: “For Some Atlanta Hawks, a a Revved-Up Game of Uno Is Diversion No. 1”, Scott Cacciola, The New York Times (01/12/2016)

TOB: This is pretty hilarious. My favorite part is how they pillaged other Uno decks for the Draw-2 and Draw-4 cards, added them to the deck they play with to make their game tougher, and call that “Laying the Heat.” That phrase will now be added to my everyday vernacular.

Video of the Week:

Please don’t let the Browns draft Jared Goff.

PAL Song of the Week: David Bowie – “Changes”

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“Don’t talk! The hot tub is too hot. I flew down here. For the seventh time! I’m not coming down anymore.”

-Zach G.