Week of September 30, 2016

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Gone Too Soon

Jose Fernandez was a fantastic young pitcher for the Miami Marlins. I say was because, as you probably heard, he died last weekend in a boating accident off the coast of Miami. Fernandez’ story is an incredible one. As teenager, he escaped Cuba on a boat on his fourth attempt to do so. During the final trip, in the pitch black, someone fell overboard. Without knowing who it was, 15-year old Jose risked his life by jumping into the dark waters. As it turned out, the person he saved was his own mother. Eventually, Jose and his mother made it safely to the United States – and there found the freedom they sought. More than one writer has remarked on the irony here – Jose died in the same waters that provided him that freedom.

As a baseball fan, I will miss watching Jose pitch. Unlike many baseball players, Jose didn’t take anything too seriously. He understood baseball is a game, and games are supposed to be fun. My favorite Jose Fernandez moment was probably this one:

josetulo

I have watched that 1,000 times, and it has never gotten old. As soon as I quite literally woke to the news of his death, I thought of that play. And 0f this:

josefernandeznuts

I wish anything could get me that excited. Again, as baseball fans, we will miss not seeing what Jose might have become. No less than Pedro Martinez said this week that he saw Jose as having better potential than Pedro himself. That is high praise – and it’s not the inflated praise that is often heaped on a player after an early death. Jose was for real. His ERA+ was 150, which means he was 50% better than the league average. That’s the highest ERA+ of any pitcher with at least 70 starts since WWII.

His fastball touched 100. His breaking ball moved like this:

And this:

https://gfycat.com/EducatedCarefreeBernesemountaindog

And this:

https://gfycat.com/HighFairIndiancow

He made hitters look positively silly. But as I sat there early Sunday morning, watching and reading everything I could about Jose – his life, his death – I was struck by the very real emotion from those who knew him. People like Eduardo Perez on ESPN that morning (please watch).

I read stories about how fun he was to play with, like this story from Jayson Stark. I read stories about what a wonderful human being he was – like this story from Dan LeBatard, himself a Cuban-American and Miami native, about how respected and loved Jose was in the Miami’s Cuban community. I watched this video, the final pitch of his all too short career, with his mother and grandmother watching and celebrating. And I watched the emotion and pain in his teammates’ eyes on Monday, when Dee Gordon led off the team’s first game since Jose’s death with a home run – his first of the season and just the sixth of his entire career.

It all made me wish I had learned about this side of Jose under less tragic circumstances. I wish we had the pleasure of seeing Jose play baseball for many more years. And I wish his friends and family, and those who looked up to him and saw in him the personification of their dreams, didn’t have to feel the pain they feel at losing Jose, at losing that hope. Damn, this one really got to me. Rest in peace, Jose Fernandez. You will be missed. -TOB

PAL:  News of Fernandez dying definitely got to me, too. On a human level, it was his joy. A kid playing a kid game game and dominating the best men on the planet.  On a baseball level, it was his truly awesome talent. What’s more, he was well on his way turning that talent into greatness. Like a brilliant artist, writer, or musician dying too soon, the world is denied the pleasure of a prodigy mastering his craft. I know that sounds overstated, but he was on his way to being that great.

But, who knows, right? Life is cruel, not only tragically cruel. Maybe he blows out his elbow again in the next game. Or he just loses that electric stuff in a of couple years. That’s why most of all, his death got to me because of this:

TOB: Damn, that had my eyes overflowin’.


Vin Scully Takedown

Vin Scully is GREAT. He started broadcasting Dodgers games in 1950. In Brooklyn. He was the broadcaster for the World Series at the age of 25. People of Los Angeles have spent their entire lives with him. As babies, as teenagers, as college dopes driving home for summer. On the way back from the hospital with their first kid, driving away from funerals of parents. Setting out on a roadtrip to the to meet their first grandchild. There has been one constant in a Dodger’s fan’s life: Vin Scully. He has been in the homes and cars of L.A. for 67 years. That’s not a career, that’s a lifetime, and not just his.

Even that – even all of that – does not excuse what I’m about to show you:

00:14 – That mime hug. What a sweet, sincere, grandpa move. Oh, Mr. Scully. Picture of grace and humility. This is too perfect. The Dodger clinch the division on a walk-off home run. Sending out Scully in style.

01:00 – Scully thanking the fans: “Believe me when I tell you I’ve needed you far more than you’ve needed me.” Again, grace and humility. Class act beyond reproach.

01:18 – “Anyway, I wanted to try to express my appreciation to all the players, God bless them, and to all you folks here in the ballpark. It’s a very, very modest thing. I sang this for my wife…” Huh, Vin Scully is going to go out singing a song. That’s pretty cool!

01:40 – “You know the song. ‘The Wind Beneath My Wings’.” WHAT? Oh no, Mr. Scully.

01:53 – “I know it’s modest. I know it’s an amatuer. Do you mind listening?” He’s really going to sing Bette Midler. Don’t do it, man. Don’t sing for 50,000 fans. Not that song. Do ‘Take Me Out To The Ballgame’ or something like that. Come on!

02:01 – Look at all those young bucks down on the field for the Dodgers. They absolutely want to pay their respects. They understand how big of a deal Scully is. They also know there’s about 1,000 beers and champagne just waiting for them. They’re itching to RAGE CAGE. Just waiting for gramps to say his piece.

02:06 – Pre-recorded instrumentation kicks in. So…Scully is going to sing along with Bette Midler, or is this a karaoke situation?

02:20 – Whaaaa? So he wasn’t kidding when he asked the fans if they minded listening…to a recording of Scully singing this song as a much younger man. Seriously, this recording is no doubt from the 80s at the very latest. Also, I cannot believe what is transpiring.

02:24 – Hey, here are fans giving the ol Sign of the Horns while listening to a pre-recorded tape of Vin Scully singing ‘Wind Beneath My Wings’:

screen-shot-2016-09-29-at-10-42-27-pm

02:45 – Just a warm embrace between manager and player, while a pre-recorded tape of Vin Scully singing ‘Wind Beneath My Wings’ by Bette Midler plays after they clinched the division. No big deal. WHAT IS GOING ON?!?

screen-shot-2016-09-29-at-10-45-13-pm

02:57 – Scully is tearing up with his arm around his wife, and I feel like an absolute asshole. 67 years of work. The man can do whatever he wants.

03:25 – This guy, giving a misty-eyed salute to Vin Scully while a pre-recorded Vin Scully sings ‘Wind Beneath My Wings’ in Dodger Stadium…after the team just won the division. Is this dude attempting to hold his left hand over his heart? God, the Dodgers really are the worst.

screen-shot-2016-09-29-at-10-49-17-pm

05:09 – This song is still going on! A stadium is going to listen to a pre-recorded Vin Scully sing the entire song. Players getting restless. It’s time to rage, dammit. I ask again, WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON?

05:41 – The song is wrapping up. Everyone applauds on a perfect, sunny afternoon in Los Angeles. Of course they are applauding Scully, but 10% of every fan is applauding that the collective awkwardness is over.

05:57 – Scully wave and wipes a tear. I am an asshole.

05:59 – The song is not over, but the champagne party has erupted on the field. This image is taking place while a pre-recorded Vin Scully singing ‘Wind Beneath My Wings’ by Bette Midler fades out in a stadium of 50,000 fans.

screen-shot-2016-09-29-at-10-59-46-pm

Wow. Just…wow. – PAL

TOB: Vin Scully is great, and by all accounts is a great person, as this story by ESPN’s Jayson Stark shows. And he’s an old, old man who gets to do whatever the hell he wants…but this was just sooooo awkward. My favorite part was the players on the field, who just wanted to party, man, waiting out this 5-minute song and then going bonkers before the track ends. I love that Vin isn’t really singing along.


Fan Sinks Pressure Put At Ryder Cup

It was a practice round – sure, but ‘daaaaaaaaamn, Daniel.’ So a heckler at the Ryder Cup got called out by the Euro team. Henrik Stenson calls the fan’s b.s., and bets the fan $100 to take the put if it’s so easy. Fan walks onto the green like a doofus and sinks a 10-12 foot putt in front of a packed crowd. Dude does his best Tiger celebration, then nails the interview afterwards with the kind of charm only found in the Midwest. “I closed my eyes, swallowed my puke, hit the putt and it happened to go in.” Nice work, random dude. Made $100 off of Henrik Stenson at the Ryder Cup. Pretty good bar story if you ask me. – PAL

Source: American Fan At Ryder Cup Heckles Europeans, Gets Called Out To Putt For $100, Sinks It”, Samer Kalaf, Deadspin (09/28/2016)

TOB: This is hilarious and great, but I’d like to point out that the guy is from North Carolina, which is NOT the Midwest. You Midwesterners with your hella big egos wrapped in false modesty.

PAL: Wrong. He’s from Mayville, North Dakota. What’s that about egos now?

TOB: Ok, ok. I heard it wrong. I should have known he was from the Midwest because of his AWFUL fashion sense. Did you see that abominable Twins hat?


Sportswriters Are Weird

Very little amuses me more than “inside baseball” stories – and sportswriters writing about sportswriters is among the best. In this story, sportswriter Joe Lemire writes about sportswriters’ insane love for Marriott property hotels, and the accompanying obsession with Marriott reward points. I laughed a half-dozen times, at least.

Source: Sportswriters Love Marriotts More Than You Love Anything”, Joe Lemire, Vocativ (09/23/2016)

PAL: Solid pull with this story, TOB. Never heard of Vocativ. Here’s my favorite quote from an unnamed baseball writer, which may as well be a radio spot penned by Don Draper:

“For me, the Marriott thing was about points, sure, but also familiarity after a while…When you’re on the beat you have no control over your life. News can break at any moment, you cover a game with no clock, you go to work not knowing what time you’ll be be done, you don’t know if the morning flight to Denver will leave on time. But dammit, I know where I’m sleeping tonight. I’m sleeping at a Marriott.’”

Marriott point earners sound a lot like people obsessed with frequent flier miles. Here’s a hilarious Judge John Hodgman podcast on the subject: http://www.maximumfun.org/tags/frequent-flyer


PAL Song of the Week: Creedence Clearwater Revival – “Hey Tonight”




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“Now, now, now. This is getting dangerously close to compromise before I’ve even had a chance to tell one of you that you’re wrong.”

-Judge John Hodgman

Week of September 2, 2016

sideline

Football is back. Everyone’s a bit rusty.


Kaepernick’s Last Stand

If you’ve been living under a rock this week, you might have missed that someone noticed Colin Kaepernick hasn’t been standing for the national anthem before the 49ers’ preseason games this year. When asked about it, Kaepernick said:

“I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color,” Kaepernick told NFL Media in an exclusive interview after the game. “To me, this is bigger than football and it would be selfish on my part to look the other way. There are bodies in the street and people getting paid leave and getting away with murder.”

Needless to say, the #HotTakes were out in full force. From the people calling for him to leave ‘Murrca if he don’t like it, to former player/current analyst Rodney Harrison stating, unbelievably, that Kaepernick can’t make such a protest because he doesn’t know what it’s like to be black or a person of color in America. Kaepernick, by the way, is half black. When informed, Harrison said, even more unbelievably, that he “never even knew (Kaepernick) was mixed.” My head nearly exploded with all the layers of stupidity in the things Harrison said.

This protest may end up tanking Kaepernick’s already flailing career. And the true honor I find in his stance is that he knows this fact and doesn’t care. He doesn’t care if it affects his standing with the team, his career, or his bank account. It’s a principled stand, and I saw a lot of 49ers fans online not understanding that and only caring how this affects their football team, which was really sad.

Thankfully, some intelligent people also wrote about this issue. First and foremost, The Undefeated’s Domonique Foxworth who takes down the arguments of those who are angry at Kaepernick, and notes that Kaepernick’s protest is American as can be.

As Deadspin’s Barry Petchesky also points out, another popular take was that Kaepernick is disrespecting our veterans who fought to protect our freedoms. It was very heartening, then, to see so many veterans showing support for Kaepernick, with many of them pointing out that they risked their lives to protect our rights, and those rights include our First Amendment rights.

Even Kaepernick’s:

https://twitter.com/prich8604/status/770797804973203456?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Other veterans asked that people not try to speak for them.

https://twitter.com/brownlashon/status/770793051660750849?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

And still other veterans simply agreed with Kaepernick’s stand:

As for me, I’m not sure Colin Kaepernick really moves the needle enough to effectuate any real societal change (though at least two NFL players joined in his protest Thursday night). The good news is that, after speaking to a former green beret and NFL hopeful this week, Colin agreed to kneel during the anthem instead of sitting – to still show respect for his country, but to still call attention to his cause. He also stood and clapped for “God Bless America”, and most importantly…he announced after the game that he’s donating his first $1 million in paychecks this season to a number of community organizations. As his teammate Eric Reid said, “He’s taking advantage of the platform that he’s given to bring awareness to a worthy cause. What’s more American than that?” Amen. We are finally seeing professional athletes use their public pedestals for good instead of worrying about their sponsors or their paychecks. For that I applaud Colin. -TOB

Source: Kaepernick’s Protest is as American as that Flag”, Domonique Foxworth, The Undefeated (08/29/2016); Colin Kaepernick’s Fight is Not With the Military”, Barry Petchesky, Deadspin (08/31/2016)

PAL: Liberty – the defense of and struggle for – that’s the part of America that is truly great. That’s what’s worth honoring. Liberty has always been the heartbeat. 

When a person – any person – doesn’t believe his/her flag stands for liberty, then they don’t have to stand for the flag. America is an idea. The flag represents that idea, and can never, ever represent anything less. That a minority of folks – and have no doubt they are a minority – still don’t understand what the Star Spangled Banner represents is the real cause for concern here.

Liberty (noun):

  • the state or condition of people who are able to act and speak freely
  • the power to choose or do what you want to
  • a political right

While we’re at it – there are a million other far more patriotically egregious if you’re looking to vent about people disrespecting the ol’ red, white, and blue. For starters, here’s a list of sports teams you paid to “Salute the Troops”, courtesy of the Department of Defense:

  • Atlanta Falcons $879,000
  • New England Patriots $700,000
  • Buffalo Bills $650,000
  • Minnesota Wild $570,000
  • Baltimore Ravens $534,500
  • New Orleans Saints $472,875
  • San Diego Chargers $453,500
  • Seattle Seahawks $453,500
  • Atlanta Braves $450,000
  • Indianapolis Colts $420,000

What, you thought the teams did all that out of patriotism?


Sometimes Sports Are Really Great

I had a rough week, as my son had a health scare last weekend. He looks to be fine…but as a dad I can really relate to this story. Leah Paske is the mother of a child with autism. Her son, Bo, is in middle school. Middle school sucks for almost everyone, but it is especially difficult for anyone who other kids see as “different”. This week, the Florida State football team visited Bo’s school, and someone sent Leah this picture of Seminole wide receiver Travis Rudolph eating lunch with Bo at an otherwise empty table:

FSU

As you can imagine, the picture made Leah very happy:

“I do remember middle school being scary, and hard. Now that I have a child starting middle school, I have feelings of anxiety for him, and they can be overwhelming if I let them. Sometimes I’m grateful for his autism. That may sound like a terrible thing to say, but in some ways I think, I hope, it shields him. He doesn’t seem to notice when people stare at him when he flaps his hands. He doesn’t seem to notice that he doesn’t get invited to birthday parties anymore. And he doesn’t seem to mind if he eats lunch alone. It’s one of my daily questions for him. Was there a time today you felt sad? Who did you eat lunch with today? Sometimes the answer is a classmate, but most days it’s nobody.

[…]

A friend of mine sent this beautiful picture to me today and when I saw it with the caption “Travis Rudolph is eating lunch with your son” I replied “who is that?” He said “FSU football player”, then I had tears streaming down my face. Travis Rudolph, a wide receiver at Florida State, and several other FSU players visited my sons school today. I’m not sure what exactly made this incredibly kind man share a lunch table with my son, but I’m happy to say that it will not soon be forgotten. This is one day I didn’t have to worry if my sweet boy ate lunch alone, because he sat across from someone who is a hero in many eyes. Travis Rudolph thank you so much, you made this momma exceedingly happy, and have made us fans for life!”

Good job, Travis. -TOB

Source: Here Is a Nice Story, I Hope You Will Enjoy It Because Most Everything Else Is Awful”, Barry Petchesky, Deadspin (08/30/2016)


Be More Like Craig Sager

You’ve likely been brought up to speed that veteran NBA sideline reporter Craig Sager (yes, the one who wears the wacky suits) has been in a hellacious cancer battle since 2014. This week he underwent a rare third bone marrow transplant. Add to that countless rounds of chemo, and, well, it the odds are not in his favor. In his words, “I like to bet on horses, I like to bet on dogs. I’ve bet on a lot of things with a lot higher odds than this.”

But, damn, this guy continues to battle, round after round. He’s trying everything, and he’s sums up why in a way that’s downright inspiring. “Man, life is too beautiful, too wonderful, there’s just too many things.”

There’s another reason why I shared this story. Barry Petchesky has become one of my favorite sports writers since we started this blog. Two of our three stories this week – one TOB highlighted above and this one – are his work. He writes with a direct honesty. Never sentimental, but not afraid to write about emotion. Here’s a perfect example from the Sager piece:

“This is all very sad, because: Craig Sager is probably going to die. You’re not supposed to say or write things like that, because no one likes to be made to think about it. I hate that line of thought, because it’d be better for everyone if we could discuss cancer and illness and dying from a mature and candid perspective. It’s not something to dance around. It’s serious shit, and we should say what we mean.

“The way to talk about this stuff without being disingenuous is to remember why it makes you sad: to recall how much you’ve enjoyed Sager’s work over the years, to see the impact he’s had on those who know him by seeing the love he’s getting from family, friends, colleagues, and the general public, and to see if you can’t take some inspiration from Sager’s own stated motivation for seeing his treatment through…”

Make a habit out of reading Barry Petchesky’s work, and think good thoughts for Sager and his family. – PAL

Source: Craig Sager Remains The Best”, Barry Petchesky, Deadspin (8/31/16)

TOB: I echo Phil’s thoughts about both Sager and Petchesky. And by the way, all three of our stories this week featured Petchesky articles. Big week for you, Barry.


Video of the Week

Looks like PAL and TOB have a date on 10/13.


PAL Song of the Week – Ramsey Lewis Trio – The “In” Crowd

Check out this week’s pick, and all of the previous picks below. Guaranteed to get you lucky.




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If I owned the Twins, I wouldn’t even show up here. I’d just hire a bunch of scientists to do my homework. I mean, if you’re rich you don’t have to be smart. That’s the whole beauty of this country.

Joey, Little Big League

(Phil silently weeps)

Week of August 26, 2016

Screen Shot 2016-08-25 at 10.26.44 PM

Practicing with the team in Australia, Cal’s new running back Shmarshawn Shmlynch.


Pulling Back the Free Agency Curtain

For a professional athlete with options, a lot goes into a free agency decision. Much of that process is foreign to us as fans – many assume it mostly boils down to money. I’m sure it largely does, but I don’t begrudge an athlete maximizing his income. More power to ‘em. But there’s certainly more to it than money, and new Detroit Lions wide receiver Marvin Jones provides a small peak behind the curtain of his first free agency – which teams he considered, and how he chose Detroit and why.

I took special interest in this story, as Marv played at Cal, and was a great player who also seemed like a great guy. Yes, that’s him burning Richard Sherman:

California wide receiver Marvin Jones center, in action against Stanford during an NCAA college football game in Berkeley, Calif., Saturday, Nov. 20, 2010.(AP Photo/Marcio Jose Sanchez)

Here, Marv also provides a small glance into how he got to his free agency, including something even most Cal fans don’t know: On Marv’s first day of camp his freshman year, he found out he was going to be a dad. As if that wasn’t enough for an 18-year old kid, Marv discusses the difficulties of playing college football and attending school full-time while missing out on being a father, while his son was 6 hours away. This article confirmed for me that Marvin Jones is a great guy, and raised my respect for what he did at Cal, and since, ten-fold. -TOB

Source: My Road to Detroit”, Marvin Jones, The Players Tribune (08/18/2016)

PAL: I appreciated how serious he took his responsibilities as a father (twice in college), how that prepared him to be a professional, and it all makes a lot of sense when you read how much Jones looks up to his dad. And, for chrissake, it’s not all about money. It just can’t be. It was cool how much weight Jones put on finding a neighborhood that felt right, and it’s cool that one of the key factors for him was whether or not the kids in the neighborhood were all out playing with each other. Best of luck to Jones in Detroit!


Cal Bears Down Under

Later tonight, Cal and Hawaii open the 2016 College Football season, a week ahead of everyone else…in Australia. I was pretty annoyed when this game was announced – it robbed us of a home game against FCS South Dakota State, which is generally a good excuse to drink some beers and then go sit in the sun as your team puts a pounding on a JV squad. But now that it’s upon us, I’m excited. For one, it’ll get ESPN’s full attention. For two, Cal is expected to net $1 million from this game, more than they (SUPPOSEDLY) net from a home game.  And that’s saying something because shipping an entire football team and dozens of support staff, and their thousands of pounds of gear and equipment, is really god damn expensive.

cal

The logistics for such an endeavor are much more fraught than you might think. To make things easier, Cal chartered a Boeing 777 from Virgin Air, and even had to ship their own goal posts, because Australia apparently does not have college regulation goal posts. This is a fun look into the logistics behind a football game, especially one with as many considerations as this one.

Source: Cal’s Over-the-Top Preparation for Football Game Down Under”, Connor Letourneau, SF Chronicle (08/23/2016)


LAX-iest Bros of All the LAX Bros Attend University of Albany

Chaunce. Couger. Blaze. These are not what the cool kids are calling weed these days; rather, these are some of the names on the University of Albany Lacrosse team. Barstool Sports caught this one flush by simply posting the roster of the team, their bios, and adding just a touch of commentary. For a solid laugh, please go check out the entire roster. Here are some of my favorites, followed by the Barstool commentary:

cougar

Feel like I’m really missing out by not having a dude named Cougar in my immediate friend group. I’m friends with guys named “Scott” and “Mike” and it’s just all super white and super boring. If we brought Cougar into the mix, I’m sure that would spice things up a bit.

Zach

Looks like if Spicoli and some frat star at Georgia or some shit like that had a love child. “Intending to major in business” is sneaky hilarious. Just a great euphemism to say that he doesn’t go to class ever, just chills in his room, smokes weed until lax practice, rinse, repeat.

sean

In comes younger brother Sean who has a bit of a cleaner look to him but you can tell that there’s some bad boy just itching to come out. He’s only a freshman so we’ll check back in a few years to check in on his progress by senior year.

Big shoutout to Meagan Hutcheon, a proud University of Albany alumna, who brought this gem to my attention. – PAL

Source: I Wouldn’t Bring Your Girl Near The UAlbany Lacrosse Team If I Were You”, Jordie, Barstool Sports (4/2/16)

TOB: Look, you can’t hate a kid for having a dumb name (you hate their parents instead). But you can hate a kid for having those stupid haircuts. In unrelated news, did you see I made the newspaper this week? I’m famous:

oldman


The College Football Training Center Arms Race Has Got To Stop

I mean, get a look at this shit.

Phil Knight could have cured cancer with the money he spent on this thing. Google says he spent only $19.2 million. I say “only” because there’s no way that cost just $19.2 million! I still say he could have cured cancer. This has to stop, seriously. Spend just $10 million and pay the friggin players or something. Ugh. This is too ridiculous. I’ve got to stop. -TOB

Source: Eugene, Hell on Earth (08/25/2016)

PAL: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I don’t know if I’m taking a virtual tour of Jay Z’s 40/40 Club*or watching the Oregon virtual tour of their training facility. Also, while Mariota was the Heisman winner in 2014 (the only Duck to ever win the award)…too soon to be naming the entire training facility after him?

Here are some of my highlights (please, please, please watch the video in TOB’s writeup, otherwise this commentary will make no sense):

  • The music. Sounds like something that comes as a package deal with video editing software. You spent a gazillion dollars on the training facility, Philly Knight – go one more step and clear a song from a top-rate artist.
  • The boxing ring with the ‘O’ sparkly lights. Because nothing drives home the grit and toughness of boxing like a flashy ring for non-boxers:

Screen Shot 2016-08-25 at 10.43.30 PM

  • The night club massage chairs (I think they are massage chairs)…looks more like a champagne room. Just saying.
  • WHAT IS WITH THE THRONE? WHAT HAPPENS IN THE THRONE?
  • This is a lot of bluster for a team that’s never won a National Championship in its 100+ year history

*Hova, get some music for your club’s virtual tour…you’re friggin’ Jay Z!


Deadspin Does God’s Work

One of my favorite things about Deadspin is how it manages to do the dirty work of being a discerning sports/sports media consumer. This is a perfect example. I don’t follow too many sportswriters on Twitter, because they ALL. TWEET. THE SAME. THING. You get four tweets in 30 seconds letting you know that the Giants have sent Mac Williamson to the minors. As Deadspin notes here, football training camp twitter is even worse. Tons of writers all tweeting that so-and-so completed a pass to such-and-such. But Deadspin did us all a favor and compiled a list of all the tweets about (mostly) backup quarterbacks throwing horrendous passes throughout camp, and it is funny:

 

 

https://twitter.com/domcosentino/status/742784498836852736

There are more. This made me chuckle, and that’s all I’m really looking for from Twitter. Thanks, Deadspin. -TOB

Source: All NFL Training Camp Tweets Are Bad Except For These”, Barry Petchesky, Deadspin (08/24/2016)

PAL: God, how I hate pre-season football.


Video of the Week

smash


PAL Song of the Week: Alabama Shakes – “Over My Head”

Check out this track, and all of our weekly picks below:




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Shit. I know shit’s bad right now, with all that starving bullshit, and the dust storms, and we are running out of french fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution…

-President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho

 

Week of August 19, 2016

Usain

He’s fast.


My Favorite Story from The Olympics

Wayde van Niekerk broke one of the oldest records in Track & Field on Sunday night (TOB writes of one of the other longstanding records this week, too). Michael Johnson’s 400m time of 43.18 stood for 17 years until van Niekerk took it down – from lane 8, no less – with a 43.03. And if that’s not remarkable enough, van Niekerk’s coach is a 74 year-old great grandma. You can’t make this stuff up.

granny

Anna Sophia Botha couldn’t convince security on at the track in Rio to let her in (she eventually was allowed in after South African officials vouched for her), but she’s had a long history of convincing her athletes. She’s been the head Track & Field Coach at the University of Free State in South Africa since 1990. Her coaching technique: “benevolent disciplinarian”. You know, a lot of love, but 5 minutes early is considered late in her book. And time – every day – is needed with her athletes. Not only to train, but to read their body language. van Niekerk isn’t her only world class runner. Akani Simbine finished 5th in the 100m. And don’t mistake this Olympics as her swan song. “I still love coaching and I still love my athletes, so I can’t see a reason why I would go and sit down and play with my fingers. That’s not in my nature.”

Keep kicking ass, granny. – PAL

Source: This Great-Grandmother Coaches an Olympic Champion. Now Let Her By.”, Karen Crouse, The New York Times (08/15/2016)

TOB: 


Where Have You Gone, Frederick Carl Lewis?

When I was a kid, I loved track and field, and my two favorite events were the 100 meter dash and the long jump. It was a great time to be a fan of the long jump. I was 9 during the 1991 World Championships in Tokyo, when Mike Powell broke Bob Beamon’s 23-year old World Record and jumped an unthinkable 29 feet, 4 ¼ inches – 2 inches beyond Beamon’s hallowed mark. In that meet, he was dueling with Carl Lewis who (in hindsight, inexplicably) was one of my five favorite athletes. Powell just beat Lewis. I remember seeing extended highlights of the World Championships on ESPN, and I was riveted.

Together they had two of the three longest jumps in history. To this day, only four jumps in history have been over 29 feet. Lewis had two other 29 foot jumps that day that were disallowed as wind-aided. It was the first time either man jumped over 29 feet in their career. And Lewis did it three times. On the same day. It was also the first time Lewis had lost a long jump final in over a decade, having won 65 in a row. Really, check out the Wikipedia sub-article on the competition, even reading it is fascinating.

Heading into the 1992 Olympics in Barcelona, the scuttle was, “Who is going to jump 30 feet first?” I was sure Lewis was going to do it in Barcelona. I think I recorded the event on VHS, because I wanted to keep that history forever. And then…neither guy even came close. Lewis jumped 28 feet, 5 ¼ inches on his first jump in the finals, and that held up for gold. Powell got the silver at 28 feet, 4 inches. Neither ever again came close to 30 feet in their career. And no one else has, either, 25 years later. The winning jump at the Olympics this year was just a hair under 27 feet, 6 inches, and NBC barely bothered to air it. So…what the hell happened to the long jump?

In every other sport, records fall every single year – like Katie Ledecky shaving 2 friggin seconds off her 800-meter swim world record. But Beamon’s record stood for 23 years, and his jump even occurred at altitude. Powell’s record did not occur at altitude and has stood for 25 years. It may stand forever. Why? Powell and Lewis’ day in 1991 may have reached the bounds of human ability (it still boggles my mind that they both did this on the same day). Alternatively, it may be something more practical: jumping 29 feet is impossibly difficult, requiring years of specialized training. And what’s the payoff? No one wants to work hard enough to jump 29 or 30 feet, when 27 ½ feet will get you the Gold Medal.

Whatever the reason for its decline, I hope the long jump makes a comeback. It’s damn awesome to watch. -TOB

Source: What Happened to the Long Jump?”, Timothy Burke, Deadspin (08/15/2016)

PAL: 29 friggin’ feet. That’s so absurd. TOB, let’s go to a track. Do you think you could break 12 feet?

It seems counterintuitive at first blush to consider a record set in 1991 to be untouchable, but the notion of diminishing incentive is really interesting. I feel like this is a perfect subject matter for Malcolm Gladwell’s new podcast, “Revisionist History” (I highly recommend it).

TOB: I really doubt it. At my peak physical condition, MAYBE. But not now (I also recommend Revisionist History).


Catching Emotion

I’m a sucker for stories about iconic sports images. Ali towering over Liston. Mantle tossing his helmet. Tommy Smith and John Carlos saluting Black Power. Dwight Clark in the end zone. The fact that you can see most – if not all – of these photos as you read this proves the ‘iconic’ descriptor is earned. They capture the emotion of the moment – that’s why they live on. The emotion separates these frames from the hundreds of other photographs taken at the same events. Oftentimes the story behind the photo is as interesting as the photo itself. Why did the photographer set up where he did? Why did she snap the photo when she did? Why did they wait longer, or linger as everyone emptied the stadium? The photographer made dozens of choices – connected and seemingly disconnected to the event they are covering –  leading them to the moment when their viewfinder and the human condition intersect. Well, here is a story about one of those moments that took place at the 1984 Olympics, and here’s the photo:

cryingWhile you may not be familiar with the image, take one look at it and you’ll see that photograph capture what it feels like to watch a dream literally pass you by. I highly encourage you to click through to the full story, because there is so much that goes into this one frame. To say anymore would spoil a fantastic read. – PAL

Source: The Story Behind The Perfect Photo Of Olympic Pain”, Dave Davis, Deadspin (08/15/2016)

TOB: I’ve known the story for years of Decker and Zola Budd for years, but not the backstory. I recall a long piece on NBC about it before the 1992 Olympics, as Decker was making one last attempt at Olympic Gold. The backstory is fascinating, and I highly recommend reading it.


Kris Humphries Was Once a Better Swimmer Than Michael Phelps (Wait, What?)

Kris Humphries is a pretty good NBA player. I mean, he’s ok. He’s had his moments. He might be better known for a short-lived marriage to Kim Kardashian. But this is pretty incredible: when he was a little kid, he was a fantastic swimmer. In fact, he was better than Michael Phelps:

Screen Shot 2016-08-17 at 10.49.35 PMLook at that! As far as I can tell, that’s saying that Humphries set two national records for his age group, and beat both Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte. Incredible. A lot goes into turning 10-year old success into Olympic stardom, including an unfathomable amount of hard work, but it sure seems like Humphries had the tools to be a great swimmer. Of course, Humphries has made nearly $60 million in his NBA career. I doubt Phelps has made that much in swimming and sponsorships. Even if he did, I guarantee Phelps worked a lot longer and harder to get where he is than Humphries did. And I’m guessing Humphries is happy with his choice. -TOB

Source: Kris Humphries Beat Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte at Swimming as a Kid, and Here’s Proof”, KL Chouinard, NBA.com (08/15/2016)

PAL: What do you call another Minnesota kid done good story? I call it Friday.


Video of the Week: 

Unfortunately, there’s no embed available for this week’s video, but it’s more than worth checking out here.

This is a special one remembering a childhood neighbor, Kyle Satrom, the Minnesota Twins magical 1991 World Series Championship, and a true love of baseball. -PAL


PAL Song of the Week: Sharon Van Etten – “One Day”

Listen Van Etten and all of the weekly picks here, friendo




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“If you get the nachos stuck together, that’s one nacho.”

-J.D.

Week of August 5, 2016

Stay cool out there this weekend, folks.


No Diving, Phelps!

05LIFEGUARDSweb2-master675

“I’m dreaming of that possibility…It’s a one-in-a-million type of event, but we’re prepared.” These are the words of Anderson Fertes, a man who will be paid to do nothing while having a front row seat to the Olympic swimming events. He’s a lifeguard. Yep, they have lifeguards on hand at the Olympic swimming pool. You know, in the event Michael Phelps doesn’t wait 30 minutes until after eating before swimming.

It’s the makings of a New Yorker comic. While there are legitimate reasons for lifeguards being on site (heart attack, cramps), the notion of a lifeguard, complete with the red shorts and a flotation device slung over the shoulder Baywatch style, presiding over the best swimmers in the world is delightful. Can we just call Wendy Peffercorn and do the damn thing right, please and thank you. – PAL

LjaWhMf

Source: Lifeguards at the Olympic Pool? Yes, It’s Necessary“,  John Branch, The New York Times (08/04/2016)

TOB: YES. The Olympics need an 80s villain lifeguard – complete with zinka (not zika), an overactive whistle, short shorts, and the kind of sense of humor that enjoys barking at other people. Gosh, I feel like I know just the person…

IMG_0337

Yes! Phil! Why, you could be an internet sensation.


With Just a…Soucant…

Legendary graphic designer Milton Glaser rates every Summer and Winter Olympic logo. It’s kind of…mesmerizing. It’s like a pretentious wine or beer review, except it makes total sense. For example:

1932-lake-placid-winter-olympics-650x343

He’s right, the typography IS peculiar and unpleasant! Or this one:

1976-Montreal-Summer-olympic-Logo-650x473

“Perhaps more appropriate for a manufacturer of paper towels.” God damn, that is some serious graphic design burn. But he saves his best for Tokyo 2020:

tokyo-2020-olympic-logo-650x433

“…the issue has raised some fascinating questions about the nature of plagiarism in the graphic arts.” WOWOWOWOWOW. To paraphrase Piston Honda, you just got a TKO, Tokyo! -TOB

Source: On a Scale of 1-100, Milton Glaser Rates Every Single Olympic Logo Design in History”, Emily Gosling, Eye on Design (08/01/2016)

PAL: My favorites are as follows

Squaw (1960)

 1960_California_Winter_Olympics_logo-650x406

Innsbruck (1964)

1964_Innsbruck_Winter_Olympics_logo-650x366

Athens (2000)

 2004_Athens_Summer_Olympics_logo-650x428

Munich (1972)

 1972_munich_olympics_logo-650x475

TOB: For me, the gold standard is L.A. 1984. 1984-Los-Angeles-Summer-Olympics-logo-650x443


That’s how you get back on the horse, Day Day

Draymond Green made some news last weekend, if you didn’t hear. Let’s just say he took a page out of the Anthony Weiner playbook. One might think, after a big mistake like that, a public personality like Draymond Green might take a break from social media. Nope! And I’m glad he didn’t, because he gifted the public his review for some of the USA Basketball team players hair. As the kids say, he kept it 100:

hair 3 hair_201.0

Now THIS is what social media is for, Draymond. Good work. – PAL

Source: Draymond Green roasted all his Team USA teammates’ hair, and then his own”, Tim Cato, SB Nation (08/04/2016)

TOB: I’m still on Team Draymond. There are things he could do to make me leave Team Draymond, certainly, but they are up there at the Baylor/Penn State/Greg Hardy/O.J. levels.


Video of the Week


PAL Song of the Week: Father John Misty – “Well, You Can Do It Without Me” (and just let it roll to check out all of the weekly picks)


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“I play real sports. Not trying to be the best at exercising.”

-Kenny Powers

Week of July 22, 2016

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No Stars in North Carolina

The NBA did a good thing Thursday. It announced the 2017 NBA All-Star Game will no longer be in North Carolina. This is In response to North Carolina’s recent passing of what is referred to as “House Bill 2” into law, which eliminates anti-discrimination protection to the LGBTQ community by only allowing people to use restrooms in government buildings that align with the individual’s birth gender as listed on a birth certificate.

The NBA isn’t the first to show North Carolina the cost of stupidity. Several musicians have cancelled shows, including Ringo Starr and Bruce Springsteen. Additionally Deutsche Bank and PayPal have cancelled expansions in North Carolina. We’re not talking about a couple million dollars and a dozens of jobs here – we’re talking hundreds of millions and thousands of jobs.

The response from those in support of HB2 is misguided at best. Governor Pat McCrory had the following response: “American families should be on notice that the selective corporate elite are imposing their political will on communities in which they do business, thus bypassing the democratic and legal process.”

Wrong, Governor. They are not imposing political will, you moron. They are showing you the economic, public relations, and cultural ramifications of passing laws that promote discrimination, bigotry.

As for the sports angle here, it’s nice to see a sports league unafraid to take a stance on a civil rights issue. Good work, NBA. – PAL.

Source: N.B.A. to Move All-Star Game From North Carolina”, Scott Cacciola & Alan Blinder, The New York Times (07/21/2016)

TOB: Good stuff, Phil. The question now is: will other leagues follow the NBA’s lead?


Ichiro: An Under-Appreciated All-Time Great

ichiro

Really interesting career retrospective on Ichiro here. For an all-timer, I didn’t know much about him outside of his legendary batting practice exhibitions of power. Oh, and that he’s a hit machine. Just a reminder, he’s about to collect his 3,000th hit in in MLB, which he joined at age 27 (he had 1278 hits in Japan)! Definitely worth the read. Some of my favorite nuggets:

  • Ichiro more or less speaks fluent English, but continues to use a translator out of fear of being misunderstood
  • In what had become an All-Star tradition (at least during his 10 All-Star appearance), Ichiro would give a expletive-laden pre-game pep talk. This is so funny to think about, considering he largely communicates to the US media through his translator. 
  • After Seattle acquired his rights from his Japanese team, Ichiro started spring training dribbling grounders to third base. Lou Piniella, wondering what the hell the spent $27M on, told him to pull the ball. The next at-bat Ichiro launched a home run to right and asked Piniella, “Happy now?” Ichiro was dribbling the ball to third base to get a feel for the outside edge of the strike zone, as he had always during spring training.
  • He has a life-size picture of Snoop Dogg in his house. Big Snoop fan
  • Although the exact number isn’t known, Ichiro made the biggest donation to the Negro League Baseball Museum by any active player. He and the now-deceased Buck O’Neil had a real kinship.

Congrats, Ichiro. As this story points out, he carried the weight of Japanese baseball on his shoulders when he came to the bigs. While Hideo Nomo came over before him, Ichiro was the first touted position player to try to make the jump. As the “Jordan of Japan”, Ichiro had a nation watching, and he delivered. That’s legendary stuff. – PAL

Source: Ichiro Suzuki, Still Connecting”, Tommy Tomlinson, ESPN (07/19/2016)

TOB: I get that we can’t count his hits in Japan and declare him the MLB’s Hit King, but I want to offer a couple thoughts to those who think those hits mean nothing because they think the Japanese league is not as competitive as MLB. First, Ichiro averaged about 177 hits per year in his 7 full seasons in Japan (they play less games). He batting average was .353. But his numbers were as good or better in MLB. In his first year in here, he collected 242 (!!) hits and batted .350. He won the Rookie of the Year AND the MVP. In 2004, he set an all-time record with 262 (!!!) hits in a season and batted .372 (he was just 20 hits shy of batting .400). He had at least 200 hits (and usually way more) in each of his first TEN seasons in MLB (no other player has more than eight for their entire career). His career batting average is .314, and it would have been .337 if he had retired at age 37, when he left Seattle. Oh, and he won TEN Gold Gloves by making insane plays like this:

This is not a guy who destroyed the Japanese league and then came over here and was not as good. Ichiro destroyed EVERY league. I’ll also point out that in the only three World Baseball Classics, Japan has 2 gold medals and one bronze. The United States has ZERO. So, you might not want to credit Ichiro’s 1,278 hits from Japan, and that’s fine. Pete Rose is still the MLB all-time hit king. But drop the Americentric crap, because Japanese baseball is very good, and Ichiro has always been great. And he has the most hits of any professional baseball player, thanks.


Mike Trout: Still Really Good

The Angels suck, so you don’t hear much about him anymore, but make no mistake: Mike Trout is still stupid good. Historically good. If he keeps up his current pace this season, he will finish the year with the highest Wins Above-Replacement (WAR) in MLB history for any player through age 24, passing Ty Cobb. So far this year, he’s first in the AL in WAR, second in on-base percentage, fifth in slugging, and second in OPS+. Plus, he’s once again stealing bases at an elite level and still plays great outfield defense.

Los Angeles Angels' Mike Trout makes a catch on a ball hit by Seattle Mariners' Jesus Montero during the fourth inning of a baseball game, Saturday, Sept. 26, 2015, in Anaheim, Calif. (AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill) ANS109

But…the Angels really suck. And there are rumors that Trout could be trade bait this deadline, which seems unfathomable, but you never know, if someone offers an absolute blockbuster of elite prospects and young, proven talent…

So FiveThirtyEight looked at what the Angels would need to get back for fair value for Mike Trout. The short of it? It’s not possible. His value is double that of an ENTIRE top-ranked farm system. So, unless two teams can convince Commissioner Manfred to allow them to use Mike Trout as a timeshare, the Angels would be idiotic to trade him. They can’t possibly get enough value back.

Source: Mike Trout’s Teammates Don’t Deserve Mike Trout”, Neil Payne, FiveThirtyEight (07/18/2016)

PAL: He’s 24. The Angels would be trading the best young talent for what – more young, less talented players? Yeah, that makes no sense.


And the Raffle Winner Is…Us. All of Us.

God damn this is funny. A third-tier English soccer team “held” a raffle to raise some money, with the prize being one lucky winner accompanying the team on a trip to Hungary. The deadline for the raffle came and went with no word, so some fans inquired and they announced the name of the winner, James Higgins. The team leaves for the trip, and there’s no word or sign of James. Fans inquire. The team then announces James was too sick to make the trip. Then the team offers a refund to everyone who bought a raffle ticket. Why would you offer a refund just because the winner couldn’t make the trip? Click the link to see the whole story unravel. -TOB

Source: Nobody Enters League One Team’s Raffle; Team Makes Up Fake Winner, Gets Caught, Tom Ley, Deadspin (07/19/2016)

PAL: Jesus, 1-2-3 could have a more successful raffle than this team. Love the cover-up. I imagine it went something like this:

Intern: Ah, sir, no one’s bought raffle tickets

Marketing Director: They’re still coming in. How many do we have?

Intern: 4 raffle tickets.

Marketing Director: Ha-ha. Very funny. For real, how many?

Intern: 4

Marketing Director (collecting his thoughts and assessing how his career has come to this): I have an idea. It’s a little risky, but it’s not like anyone pays any attention…


When Practice Doesn’t Make Perfect

http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=espn:17116510

Why do taller players typically and historically suck at free throws? This (very good) article suggests it boils down to players getting what sports fans know as the yips – in other words, it’s psychological. It’s a pretty compelling argument:

“When was the last time you drank from a cup?” Dr. Christian Marquardt is on the phone, and he almost makes me spit, because surely he can’t know that I have taken a sip of coffee that instant. He’s a leading sports psychologist studying the neurological causes of the yips at the Science and Motion facility in Munich, Germany.

I tell him that I literally just took a sip of my coffee.

“Did you put any attention on it, or any thought? Or did you just drink it?”

No thought.

“Now, imagine it was completely filled up with hot liquid. You don’t want to spill it. All of a sudden, you will act very differently.”

He’s right. Thoughts about how tightly I’m gripping the handle, the precise twist of my arm, the angle of the cup to my mouth …

“Because,” he explains, “you start thinking about the consequences of failure.”

You should really read this article. It’s a fascinating look into how the psyche affects physical performance. -TOB

Source:Drowning In a Sea of Bricks: Why NBA Bigs Struggle at the Line – And Always Will”, Tom Haberstroh, ESPN (03/21/2016)


Video of the Week

Baseball’s special mud.


PAL Song of the Week

Song of the Week: Paul Simon – “Obvious Child”

Check out “Obvious Child” and all of our weekly picks below:




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Fred Simmons: Well, I rebuilt the engine about a year ago. New tires, new brakes. Gotten this baby up to 157 on the open highway, plus there were 2,000 rpm’s left. It’s a very special car. It means a lot to me. And sure I wanna sell it, I wanna get rid of it, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna unload it on any little yahoo that comes in here off the street, thinking this car’s neat-o. I wanna check your credentials. I gotta know what kind of man you are. Why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourself?

Man Who Buys Car: Well, I’ve always wanted to drive a car like this, since I was a teenager. I’ve got two kids, and I’ve got debt up to my ass. My wife said she’d divorce me if I wasted my money on this. I don’t care, I want it anyway.

Fred Simmons: I hear what you’re saying. And I like it. You got yourself a deal.

Week of July 15, 2016

Screen Shot 2016-07-14 at 10.02.06 PM

Tim Duncan, you are one of a kind. You will be missed!


A Thin Blue Line Between Love and Hate

It’s been a rough couple week to be an American. The shootings last week of Philando Castile in St. Paul, Alton Sterling in Baton Rouge, and five police officers in Dallas overseeing a peaceful protest have everyone’s nerves a bit raw. Last Friday, in the wake of the shootings, Knicks guard Carmelo Anthony put out a call to athletes to take a stand and demand change, no matter the possible implications on their endorsement opportunities. Taking Carmelo up on the challenge were four players on the WNBA’s Minnesota Lynx. The players wore t-shirts commemorating the lives lost, and made a statement, prior to their game Saturday night against the Dallas Wings. In response, four Minneapolis officers walked off their freelance jobs working security at the game. Lt. Bob Kroll, of the Minneapolis Police Federation (not the department, but a union) supported the officers, saying, “I commend them for it,” and adding that, “ [t]hey only have four officers working the event because the Lynx have such a pathetic draw.” Man, must have been some terrible statement that the Lynx players made, huh? Let’s check:

At a pregame news conference, Lynx forward Rebekkah Brunson said the players were “wearing shirts to honor and mourn the loss of precious American citizens and to plead change for all of us.”

“We are highlighting a longtime problem of racial profiling,” said forward Maya Moore, the 2014 WNBA MVP.

Players also denounced the “senseless ambush” of Dallas police.

Uh, ok. Seems pretty balanced. Well, it must have been the t-shirts. Those must have been awful.

JERSEYS

Well, sure the front is fine. But how about the back?

Screen Shot 2016-07-12 at 8.00.09 AM

The names of Castile, Sterling, and a Dallas Police Department logo? Christ, I give up. Lt. Kroll and the four Minneapolis officers are just total dickheads. But it’s more than that. It is a microcosm of what is wrong with much of the discussion on this topic. No, not all cops are bad. And yes, they have a dangerous job that puts their lives in danger and sometimes requires them to use deadly force, and sometimes they lose their lives in the process. It sucks that as a society we have so many people willing to take someone else’s life, but that’s the reality we live in. However, the fact an officer has a dangerous job does not mean he should be given the leeway to use deadly force in all situations in which he feels some apprehension.

Let me preface this by saying we may not have all the facts at this point. But “this” story has happened so many times, whether the details we have now are complete is of no importance to the larger picture. With that said, Philando Castile was killed after reportedly trying to take out his identification after being asked by the officer to do so, and having previously volunteered to the officer that he had a concealed carry permit and was in possession of a gun.

As reported, the officer went about everything wrong from the get-go. If there was no reason to detain Castile and his girlfriend (and that poor 4-year old little girl in the backseat), then he should have sent them on their way, having given them a traffic ticket if appropriate. But if there was any reason to detain Castile, he should have called for backup before doing anything else. He should have asked Castile to slowly exit the car. He should have explained to Castile that he was doing this for both of their safety. He should have asked Castile to place his hands on the roof of the car. He should have placed Castile in handcuffs, and told him that he was not under arrest but that he was again doing this for both of their safety. He should have asked him where the gun was located. He should have explained to him that he was going to take the gun for both of their safety. He should have then slowly taken the gun, secured it, removed the handcuffs after a further pat-down search, and conducted the rest of his business. Once that was done, he should have returned the gun to Castile and sent them on their way. He should have never unholstered his weapon.

It seems he did almost exactly the opposite. He left Castile in the car where the officer has less control over the situation. He then reportedly asked him to present his identification. He then completely freaked the hell out as Castile attempted to retrieve his ID from his pocket. And he shot him Repeatedly. Then, he didn’t offer medical assistance. He could have begun attempting to put pressure on the wound and hey, maybe Castile is alive today. Instead, he stood there holding a gun in the face of a dying man, while the man’s girlfriend and little girl sat in the car and watched him bleed to death.

Which is not to suggest that this officer is a bad person. He sounds terrible at his job, because it seems he did everything wrong. But he may very well be a good person. He was certainly ill-suited for his job, either because of the wrong temperament and the inability to deal with stress, or because he got poor training, or not enough training, in how to deal with that stress. Either way, that is an institutional failure. If the officer was not personally able to deal with the stress of the job, that should be uncovered during the hiring and training process and he should not have been hired. Institutional fail. If it’s a lack of quality or quantity of training, that’s also an institutional failure.

And on top of that, when officers do shoot someone, in my opinion as someone who has dealt with this in his profession, the law gives officers far too much leeway. Officers have what they call a Use of Force Continuum:

useofforce

But too many officers jump right to the last step on the continuum: deadly force. The law then does not second-guess the officer’s decision making in hindsight: as long as they say they felt fear for their life, and there is at least some plausibility for having done so, they skate. The standard for the reasonability of their apprehension should be far higher, because we have essentially written them a blank check. And when there are no witnesses, as often happens, it’s open-and-shut. The officer’s word against nobody’s. Dead men don’t talk.

But instead of being able to have this discussion, which is what the Lynx players asked for when they demanded justice and accountability, you get police officers working a part-time job as literal rent-a-cops walking out on their job. And they didn’t just walk out on the team. They walked out on the public that they have sworn to protect and serve. That idiot Lt. Kroll might want to know that over 7,600 people attended that game. And there were apparently no officers in attendance to keep those people safe in the event something happened. Not because the players said all cops are bad. But because they offered condolences to the dead, and demanded institutional change. Sad. -TOB

Source: Minneapolis Cops Working Lynx Game Walk Out Over Player Comments, Warm-Up Jerseys”, Randy Furst, Minneapolis Star-Tribune (07/12/2016)

PAL: I don’t mean this as a copout, but I’m still processing and trying to form my opinion on a whole lot of what’s covered in this story. I’ll tell you what – I’m not sure I’m down with police moonlighting in uniform as security (the norm for a long time), which was the case for the Lynx game. I agree with TOB – you can’t walkout and endanger those in attendance at the game.

I was visiting family in Roseville, MN when Castile was killed 3.6 miles from where I grew up. The tension is palpable – no doubt. It came up within a few minutes of every conversation with friends and family. We have a race problem, we have a police problem, and it can’t be ignored a moment longer.


Joe Paterno Can Rot In Hell

Paterno

The Penn State child rape story somehow got more depressing this week: Here’s the short of it: Penn State settled with all of the victims and then tried to get reimbursed by their insurance company. The insurance company balked and the two sides have been litigating. In the course of that litigation, a lot more has come out. For one, it appears Paterno knew about Sandusky raping children as early as the 1970s! For two, it appears other coaches, including former Rutgers and Tampa Bay Buccaneers head coach Greg Schiano and current UCLA defensive coordinator Tom Bradley knew about the rapes as far back as the early 1990s, about ten years before Mike McQueary later did. McQueary testfied in a deposition that when he told Bradley about seeing Sandusky raping a boy, Bradley told him that Schiano had seen something “similar” to McQueary in the early 90s and told Bradley. None of these bastards did anything.

Which is why it disgusts me that Penn State even still has a football program. To be clear, I don’t think Penn State should have punished more because a coach raped a child. Or even multiple children. Penn State should be punished more because a coach was raping children for decades, and for decades, people ALL THROUGHOUT the university knew – from assistant coaches, the very powerful head coach, and upwards into the administration – and did NOTHING. They even let him continue to use campus, where he continued to rape children. So many children were raped because the first time Paterno and others knew, decades before it became public, they turned the other way. And they did so to protect the football program. They chose football over raped children, and worse, over children who had not yet been raped but would be raped.

Penn State should be absolutely crushed. It honestly hasn’t been bad enough. The fact that they are still competing at the upper levels of college football proves to me they weren’t punished enough

And the reason they should be crushed into obscurity is to serve as a deterrent. Maybe the next time a Mike McQueary or Greg Schiano sees a little boy being raped in the showers they won’t just tell the head coach and when no arrests are made continue on their merry way. Maybe they’ll go to the police themselves, and the next kid and the kid after that will be spared. -TOB

Source: Mike McQueary Claims Greg Schiano and Tom Bradley Knew About Jerry Sandusky While at Penn State“, Tom Ley, Deadspin (07/12/2016)

PAL: How about this – when you see a coach, former coach, or ANYONE sexually assaulting a child, you step in and remove the child from that situation immediately. Separate from all process and procedure, those who witnessed Sandusky in the act and walked away…how do you do that? How do you not separate the two and beat the crap out of Sandusky on the spot?


There Was No Joy In Mudville, Mom and Dad Stole the Cash

This very uplifting week of 1-2-3 Sports continues… this time we have parents embezzling money from youth sports leagues all across the country. Terrific. Some of the amounts stolen are quite amazing – including this guy who stole over $200,000:

embezzle

The league had been fundraising for years to buy its own fields – and this guy Kevin Baker stole it all. When he was caught, the league was in fact in debt. It did remind me of a story from my own life – when I was a kid, my mom served as our Little League’s president for a couple of years, so I have the inside scoop. For years, two people ran our league’s snack shack. And every year the snack shack lost money. Per my mom’s memory, it lost about $15,000 per year. After many years, two new people took over and suddenly the snack shack was a gold mine – it was now MAKING $15,000 a year. Because it was all cash and thus difficult to prove, no one ever went to the authorities. But it does highlight how easily this can happen. The article suggests that many leagues have moved to hiring professional bookkeepers and taking the money out of the hands of parents. Seems like a wise move. -TOB

Source: The Trusted Grown-Ups Who Steal Millions From Youth Sports”, Bill Pennington, New York Times (07/07/2016)

PAL: This week sucks. I don’t know what else to say. This story is depressing. Sometimes parents are the absolute worst part of youth sports. Makes you wonder if kids would be better off just going to the park and playing pickup games until they’re in high school.

You know what pisses me off, now that I’m on the subject? I loved Little League! I had great experiences in youth sports. Sure, some parents were a little intense and liked to play the politics game, but for the most part everyone kept their sh*t together. Youth sports can be the best, and stories like this make it the worst.


NoNoNo

“The only thing I’ll remember about it is just the pain. That’s the worst part about the injury, is how much it hurt, because I tried to get up. I went down and I didn’t know what happened, because you don’t feel it in that area. It goes up to your mid-section, so I thought my appendix burst or something, because I couldn’t move. It was an unbelievable feeling. I’ll never forget it. I tried to get up and I had to crawl to the bench. I had to crawl and they were like, ‘Get up, get up.’ I was like, ‘I can’t get up.’”

And that’s what it feels like to get hit in the man region with a slapshot in hockey. An unbelievable feeling, indeed. As a catcher, I had a couple not so great moments that I’m happy to tell you about over a beer. I did have a cup break once, and then there’s the time, off of a foul tip, one of my testicals ascended up into an area where testicals should not be. I bounced my butt on home plate (I want to say a coach provided this tip earlier in the season), and it returned to its parking spot. Good times. – PAL

Source: Bruins Prospect Jake DeBrusk Had A Horrific Testicular Injury”, Samer Kalaf, Deadspin (7/13/16)

TOB: Why DOES the pain go to your midsection? I’ll need a doctor to chime in.


Video of the Week


PAL Song of the Week

Song of the Week: Steve Earle – “The Galway Girl”. Check out all of our picks below!


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“They shouldn’t throw at me. I’m the father of five or six kids.”

Tito Fuentes, Former MLB player

Week of June 17, 2016

bills

Losing 4 Super Bowls is fine when you have a Stanley Cup for your tears to fall into. China is an amazing place.


Since We’re All Watching O.J.: Made In America, Let’s Talk About O.J.: Made In America

And if you’re not watching it – get on it! To state the obvious takeaway from the series – the Simpson trial represented a boiling over of cultural conflicts that even surpassed the scope of a double homicide trial. The broader story is way more than I can summarize here. I just urge you to watch the series.

Let’s focus on one tiny, fascinating breadcrumb leftover from the broader story here. How do we remember Simpson’s athletic accomplishments? We don’t. Jason Reid contends its white people’s anger over the acquittal that is at the root of the “ghosting” of Simpson’s athletic feats, and he sums it up like this:

“Many white people still refused to abide by a verdict they believed to be illegitimate — to see him not only freely interacting in society, but being celebrated, made the injustice that much harder to swallow…

“[P]art of the ghosting of O.J. means never, ever acknowledging his greatness on the football field.”

“Think about it: When was the last time you heard an analyst, anybody, compare and contrast a thrilling young running back to Simpson?

“Emmitt Smith, Barry Sanders, Tony Dorsett and others are legends cited constantly to praise top backs. During the countless hours of football coverage on television all year-round, it’s not uncommon for former players to revel in sharing anecdotes about Jim Brown’s power, Walter Payton’s determination or Gayle Sayers’ elusiveness. It’s as if no one ever saw Simpson run.”

NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 2: Running back O.J. Simpson #32 of the Buffalo Bills carries the ball against the New York Jets during an NFL football game at November 2, 1975 at Shea Stadium in the Queens borough of New York City. Simpson played for the Bills from 1969-77. (Photo by Focus on Sport/Getty Images)

The documentary talks a lot about Simpon believing he transcended race. I think people’s disgust with Simpson, and the act many believe he committed, transcends race. Reid makes the argument that white anger is the root cause of our erasure of Simpson’s football greatness. I have a really hard time thinking people want to forget about him as an athlete because of his race. I think people don’t bring up his time with the Bills and USC because he murdered two people and was acquitted, then wrote a book titled If I Did It. OK, he was one of the greatest at running with a football. There. We don’t bring it up, because he’s made us not care about him as a great football player, which is next to impossible to do. – PAL

Source: The Ghosting of O.J. Simpson, Jason Reid, The Undefeated (6/13/16)

TOB: Two white guys discussing this article is dicey. BUT. In watching the documentary, there seems to be something that Jason Reid misses: white people didn’t want OJ convicted because he’s black and he married a white woman. They wanted him convicted because most people think he did that shit. Hell, the documentary spends considerable time talking about how OJ had infiltrated the white business world. Those rich, old, white dudes OJ palled around with did not care that OJ was married to a white woman. Not one bit. On the other hand, the documentary also does a fantastic job explaining the anger that black people in Los Angeles were feeling after decades of horrible treatment at the hands of the LAPD. So when I read this article it strikes me that the writer thinks that anger is a two-way street. But it’s not. Sure, there are lots of racist people out there. But the media doesn’t compare players to OJ because that’s a lightning rod that no one wants to touch. Who the hell wants to be compared to OJ? Not me. And why compare someone to OJ when Jim Brown was first and better? There’s no need to invoke OJ. White people are not out here trying to erase OJ Simpson’s football career because he’s black. They’re erasing his career because they think he butchered two people. Simple as that.


The Moment Before Sport Becomes Business: Ultimate Frisbee

Yep, I’m writing about Ultimate Frisbee. Never played it, but I’m in a weird mood after Curry fouled out on 3 bad calls in the NBA Finals. Thinking big picture here. Hang with me.

Ultimate Frisbee is a sport that costs nothing to play and rewards pure athleticism (speed, leaping ability, agility). It’s a team sport that – like soccer – is in constant motion, and its highlights are about as good as anything you’ll see in football or basketball.

Let’s say CTE is an even bigger problem than we realize, and the mighty sport of football – crippled by damning medical research, lawsuits, and plunging participation at the youth level – all but disappears within a few generations. In all seriousness, I could see Ultimate Frisbee being a legitimate contender for a spot as a major sport in the US.

Which brings us back to the present. Ultimate is on the fringe, but gaining some momentum. As it straddles the line between a “pickup” game and a professional sport – with a multi-year ESPN deal –  it faces several decisions, not the least of which is whether or not the game needs referees.

For many years, the players decided if they had been fouled. But as the sport became more competitive, players were accused of taking advantage of the system. Extended disputes threatened to spoil the game for spectators and television audiences, so a debate about adding officials began.

Many big tournaments, including the world championships, have found a middle ground: They use an official known as an observer or adviser, who acts more like a mediator than a judge or executioner.

The observers are not empowered to make calls on their own, as a referee would. Rather, they can mediate if two teams cannot come to an agreement.

A mediator. No ref, but a friggin’ mediator. So simple, and fundamentally perfect! Let the players decide the outcome of the game. I love this notion. It’s like a golf ethos applied to a team sport. And yet, if the game keeps growing, i.e., becomes a bigger revenue generator, this will never, ever, ever fly for 3 reasons I can think of off of the top of my head: player salaries (not very much at this point, but who knows in the future), TV money, and gambling. It’s almost as if one could argue the factors that make a sport without an official untenable are the factors that simultaneously corrupt and evangelize the major sports we love today.

It’s just fun to get a snapshot and think about the future of a sport in its professional infancy. – PAL

Source: A Sport Without Referees? It’s the Ultimate Debate”, Victor Mather, The New York Times (6/16/16)

TOB: I was all set to make fun of this (For example, I’m sorry, Phil but that highlight reel is not as good as anything I’ll see in football or basketball. I had a lot of “I mean, that was cool, sure…” reactions. For one, it’s a lot easier to catch and throw a frisbee than a football). But then I read the mediator thing. My god, it’s brilliant. Imagine if basketball had mediators, whose job was only to step in and make calls when players disagreed on a call. You know those games when the referees blow their whistles waaaay too much, and both sides are annoyed, and the fans are annoyed, and everyone says, “No one pays to see the refs!” That frustration would be gone. If a couple guys were going at it, they could do that without interrupting play every possession. What a great idea. I’ll still never sit down and watch a game of Ultimate Frisbee, gtfooh. But I like the thought of what they’re doing.

PAL: I’ve seen you throw a frisbee, and you’ve seen me throw a frisbee…are you sure you want to make the argument that it’s easier to do than throw a baseball?

TOB: With a little practice, anyone can throw a frisbee really far. I will never throw a ball like this:

Or this:

PAL: I’ll grant you the arm strength argument of throwing a football. But throwing a ball far is one tiny portion of what makes an professional quarterback good. There’s reading the defense, making quick decisions, elusiveness, touch, etc. – all of which are far more important than having a strong arm. Those other qualities also completely translate to Ultimate.


Let’s Check in With Curling. YES I SAID CURLING.

No, it’s not a Winter Olympic year. No, it’s not even winter. But curling, that very Canadian (read: weird) “sport” that is part shuffleboard and part cleaning your apartment after a wild party, is going through some major unrest.

curling

The short of it: someone invented a new broom (the icePad, very original and clever) that makes it much easier for the “sweepers” to direct the stone to the target. Consequently, the icePad has been banned for this season while the sport tries to figure out what the heck to do when a technology so fundamentally changes your sport. If you want to understand the physics of the icePad, read the story. It is interesting. But I really love the complaints from players (curlers?) who hate the icePad. For example, Olympic Gold Medalist Ben Hebert: “When you throw a great rock, we want you to make the shot, and when you don’t throw a great rock, I don’t think you deserve to make the shot.” Another former Gold Medalist, Brad Gushue, complained that it takes the skill away from the players and puts it in the hands of the sweepers. Isn’t sweeping part of it, fellas? Sounds to me like Hebert and Gushe don’t like their own damn sport and they’d be better off meeting me and Phil at Wreck Room where we can dominate them at tabletop shuffleboard. And I hope their people is around to see it, because they will get embarrassed! -TOB

Source: Here’s the Physics Behind the Broomgate Controversy Rocking the Sport of Curling”, Jennifer Ouellette, Gizmodo (06/12/2016)

PAL: Goddamn, this is a 1-2-3 story if I ever saw one. Good little physics lesson in it, funny names for meetings like “Sweeping Summit”, and old-timers trying to preserve the “spirit of the game” (this comes up in our story about Ultimate Frisbee, too…what an odd week). One question remains: Who’s the Chazz Michael Michaels of Curling?


Video of the Week: see above, fools!

 

PAL’s Song of the Week: Mason Jennings – “The Field”

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“One time, Bill Murray came up to me at Wendy’s, took a fry off of my tray, ate it, looked me in the eye and said, ‘Nobody’s going to believe you.’”

-Anon.

Week of June 10, 2016

Ali 1

Rest in peace, Champ.


The Man Who Shook Up The World

As we all know, Muhammad Ali passed away last Friday, at age 74. Phil and I happened to be hanging out, watching Eddie Murphy’s “Raw” on Netflix, when I glanced at my phone and read the sad news. We immediately turned on ESPN and watched the retrospectives pour in. ESPN continued the coverage late into the night, with Jeremy Schaap, who knew Muhammad Ali better than most because of Ali’s relationship with Jeremy’s dad, the great Dick Schaap, leading the way with some great anecdotes. We laughed at the clips of Ali’s best trash talk:

And his in-ring exploits (this is at the end of his career, in 1977, and he dodges 21 punches in 10 seconds!!)

Ali2

We also shook our heads at how early he was obviously showing signs of Parkinson’s, and wondered aloud why he was allowed to fight as long as he did. I considered suggesting a special edition 1-2-3 Sports edition on Saturday morning, but decided against it: one of our guiding philosophies for this blog is not to bring sports news, but to bring you the best sportswriting we find, and throw our own take in for good measure. This approach also allows some perspective. Over the last week, I read a lot of words written about Muhammad Ali – almost all of them interesting. Like this old article by Roger Ebert, about watching Rocky II with Ali back in 1979, with some very funny anecdotes, observations, and insights from the Greatest. I also really enjoyed this retrospective. It touches on what made Ali great in the ring, and so beloved out of it; but it addresses his shortcomings, both in the ring and out, as well.

Aerial of Muhammad Ali victorious after his round three knockout of Cleveland Williams during the World Heavyweight Title fight at the Astrodome. Houston, Texas 11/14/1966 (Image # 1002 )

And that’s an important part of the Muhammad Ali story. The man was not a saint, and that’s ok. He can still be loved, even if he wasn’t perfect, and even if he was not really the greatest heavyweight boxer, let alone in any weight class, of all-time. Ali was so beloved because of who he was and what he did: he was generous and kind and made our world a much better place. Ali was funny. He was a great fighter. He was a man of principle. But he could be kind of a jerk, too. Truth be told, I’ve always been a Joe Frazier guy. He was tough and he was great, and he was the underdog. I was born 7 years after their last fight, but I watched plenty about it as a kid, and I could not escape the thought that Muhammad Ali was a jerk to his former friend Joe. But the world is not that black and white, either. And so I thoroughly enjoyed this old Sports Illustrated article, written about Ali and Frazier and their final fight – The Thrilla in Manila, their respective mornings after that fight, and the respect that two vicious enemies earned from each other.

“In his suite the next morning he talked quietly. “I heard somethin’ once,” (Ali) said. “When somebody asked a marathon runner what goes through his mind in the last mile or two, he said that you ask yourself why am I doin’ this. You get so tired. It takes so much out of you mentally. It changes you. It makes you go a little insane. I was thinkin’ that at the end. Why am I doin’ this? What am I doin’ here in against this beast of a man? It’s so painful. I must be crazy. I always bring out the best in the men I fight, but Joe Frazier, I’ll tell the world right now, brings out the best in me. I’m gonna tell ya, that’s one helluva man, and God bless him.”

I hope you read the whole thing. It is poetic and enlightening, and artfully demonstrates the reason I do enjoy boxing, as brutal and corrupt as it may be.

Source: Lawdy, Lawdy, He’s Great”, Mark Kram, Sports Illustrated (10/13/1975)

PAL: Like TOB said, you just gotta read this story. My favorite bit of writing:

“Once, so long ago, he (Ali) had been a splendidly plumed bird who wrote on the wind a singular kind of poetry of the body, but now he was down to earth, brought down by the changing shape of his body, by a sense of his own vulnerability, and by the years of excess. Dancing was for a ballroom; the ugly hunt was on. Head up and unprotected, Frazier stayed in the mouth of the cannon, and the big gun roared again and again.”


Malcolm Gladwell Has Made a Fool Out of Me

I don’t know about you, but I’m guilty of it: I read a book and start spouting off factoids from said book at a bar or family gathering. I couldn’t shut up about it after reading Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers, which is a study on what makes the greatest minds, business people, innovators, athletes, etc. great. I convinced my middle brother to read it. I would purposely steer bar conversations towards Bill Gates so I could casually drop in lines about how his access to  computers at an early age gave him a head start on accruing the 10,000 hours needed in order to master a skill. It took me a minute to realize every damn person had read or was reading Outliers, too, and the “10,000 Hour Rule” has lived on…and now I find that is was BS? What the what:

First, there is nothing special or magical about ten thousand hours. Gladwell could just as easily have mentioned the average amount of time the best violin students had practiced by the time they were eighteen — approximately seventy-four hundred hours — but he chose to refer to the total practice time they had accumulated by the time they were twenty, because it was a nice round number. And, either way, at eighteen or twenty, these students were nowhere near masters of the violin.

Second, the number of ten thousand hours at age twenty for the best violinists was only an average. Half of the ten violinists in that group hadn’t actually accumulated ten thousand hours at that age. Gladwell misunderstood this fact and incorrectly claimed that all the violinists in that group had accumulated over ten thousand hours.

How could you do this to me, Malcolm? I was pawning off your intellect for small talk during boring social gatherings for years, and I come to find you misunderstood the difference between “mean” and a minimum benchmark? Canadians…- PAL

Source: Malcolm Gladwell’s “10,000 Hour” Rule Is Essentially Meaningless”, Hannah Keyser, Adequate Man (06/09/2016)

TOB: Interestingly, Gladwell appeared on the Freakanomics podcast a month or so ago and addressed this, claiming that people misunderstood his point. He claimed his thesis was that he wanted people to move away from the notion of success as something individual – that it has to do with chance, contribution of your culture, your generation, and your family. He wanted to disabuse people of the notion of the “lone genius”, which he says has very little basis in reality. He said that he was very surprised that the average takeaway of Outliers was the so-called 10,000 hour rule, and that he used the 10,000 hour rule to “perform a very specific argumentative function” – he says the point is that if it takes that long to be good, you can’t do it by yourself. If you have to play chess for ten years to be a great chess player, you can’t have a job, you can’t help take care of your kids or help around the house. He points out Jordan Spieth and notes that his parents made untold sacrifices his entire life to make Jordan Spieth such a great golfer. If it take 10,000 hours to become an elite performer, then there must be a group of people behind that person making it possible. Essentially, it takes a village. You didn’t build that. Etc. What seems clear is that, if what Malcolm is saying now is what he meant, he did a poor job making his point.

PAL: I thought a made a pretty funny joke, and then you have to ruin it with facts, updates, and – you know – information.

TOB: Lawyered. For hire!

PAL: Wait…you’re a lawyer? Since when?


Sharks Benefit From a Pittsburgh Jinx

Couch

The Sharks staved off elimination Thursday night in Pittsburgh to send the series to a 6th game. Aside from having their first lead in the entire series (their only other lead game came on an overtime winner), the Sharks have a jinx to thank:

Public Works crews began going to various parts of the city Wednesday to enforce a little-known ordinance in advance of the Penguins potentially winning the Stanley Cup Thursday night at Consol Energy Center.

Guy Costa, the city’s chief of operations, said crews are removing couches from front porches, collecting abandoned furniture and emptying trash containers before Game 5 of the Stanley Cup Final against the San Jose Sharks.

I’ll say it – the Warriors came back from being down 3-1, and I got a feeling…oh, I got a feeling the Sharks just might do the same. And we don’t round up couches when teams win here in the Bay Area – we’re the winning idiots that burn ‘em. Pittsburgh Public Works shouldn’t have been going around taking couches off the street. And if the Sharks do end up winning The Cup, this will become my favorite jinx of them all. – PAL

Source: Pittsburgh Jinxes the Penguins, Rounds Up Couches So Hockey Fans Can’t Burn Them”, Patrick Redford, Deadspin (6/9/16)

TOB: Wait, they took couches off of people’s front porches? Like, they went on to private property and took people’s personal property without prior notice? That can’t be legal. Anyways, I have less faith than Phil, every time I’ve gotten on the Sharks ‘wagon, they do me dirty. I have been watching, though. Sharks goalie Martin Jones was fantastic last night – 44 saves on 46 shots, and many of them incredible, like this one late in the third to preserve a one-goal lead:

save

It was the most saves by a goalie staving off elimination in the Cup Finals since 1968! Go Sharks!


Video of the Week


PAL Song of the Week: Bob Dylan – “Mama You Been On My Mind

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“With your face, when you attempt to be charming, it really does come off as evil.”

– President Selina Meyer

Week of June 3, 2016

Bruce-Bochy-1977

So many things to love in this photo, not the least of which is that young Bochy looks suspiciously like Hunter S. Thompson.


Despera-Joe

I don’t like Joe Buck. I don’t like him because he wants to be cool. At some point during his meteoric rise to the summit of broadcasting, he wanted to be cool, and that’s when he started driving me nuts. I don’t want a broadcaster to be cool. I want Al Michaels. A witty uncle with thin hair. Buck is a younger uncle trying to be witty and his thinning hair only makes it worse. He’s like The Eagles: Widely successful and incredibly lame.

joebuck

With all that said, here’s a story telling us we’ve got it all wrong about Joe Buck, and then the entire story only points out examples that makes me feel like I got him lined up about right: Buck’s a little bit a d-bag. Some of my favorite tidbits:

  • Buck started calling Cardinals’ games at the age of 21 (following in his father’s footsteps)
  • He’s a longtime friend of Paul Rudd and Jon Hamm
  • He took over the top NFL play-by-play spot for Fox at the age of 33
  • He married a former Broncos cheerleader and had Rich Eisen ask her for a phone number on his his behalf

But the most notable portion of this story, which – remember – is trying to show us that Buck isn’t as bad as we think and that he’s in a no-win situation as a play-by-play announcer, is the following (referencing the 2014 NLCS between the Giants and the Cardinals):

Buck finds himself in an odd position. San Francisco Giants fans think Buck is in the tank for the Cardinals. Whereas Cardinals fans, who heard Buck deliver that lousy World Series call, feel that since he left town he has worn a bogus mask of nonpartisanship. “I’m a man without a country,” Buck said. “I’m Snowden.”

There is nothing – literally nothing – in this story that makes me like him any more. Joe Buck’s not the worst thing in the world, but he’s not underrated either. – PAL

Source: Joe Buck Is Underrated, Bryan Curtis, The Ringer (06/01/2016)

TOB: My favorite part, aside from having Rich Eisen ask his now-wife for her number for him (and, really, Rich saying the number was for someone in the press box and her saying, “Please don’t say it’s Joe Buck” is just *mwah* perfect; also, getting your first tattoo because a woman you just started dating says she likes guys with tattoos is just *so* Joe Buck), is this passage:

In 2012, Will Leitch listed the indictments against Buck: that he was “smug” (that word again), that he under-emoted — that is, he didn’t seem as excited to call the game as those of us at home were to watch it. Buck said the second gripe was occasionally true, but not for the reasons his critics thought. Before a 2006 NLCS game, the public-address system at Shea Stadium played a song by the band Toto. Buck sang along in the booth — only to have the stadium take the camera feed and put his mugging on the scoreboard. “People booed the shit out of me,” he said.

Joe. Joe, Joe, Joe. They didn’t boo you because you were having a good time. They booed you because everyone thinks you suck! If you had been just standing there, you’d have similarly been booed. The interesting thing about this story is how inside-his-own head Joe is about his own likeability, or lack thereof. Sorry, Joe. Own it. Also, he complains about people still making fun of him for his pearl-clutching-call of Randy Moss’ hilarious fake-mooning TD celebration, but he doesn’t own that, either! Own the mistake, Joe. And tell us just what the hell was your problem that day.

This article was entertaining, but as Phil notes, not for the reasons it tried to be. If this is the kind of writing we’re going to get from The Ringer, Bill Simmons may be looking for a new home sooner rather than later. Let’s hope it goes up from here. I do miss Grantland.


Donald Trump Too Big of a Risk For PGA

trump

Donald Trump likes real estate. In the wake of the financial crisis of 2008, Trump bet big on golf resorts, and snatched them up at basement prices. Legendary Doral in Miami was one of those courses. Doral has long been a PGA tour stop, but after this year its tournament is moving to Mexico City. Cadillac is out as a sponsor, and the PGA Tour can’t find a replacement. One of the reasons might be Trump:

“But corporations hate controversy, and they especially hate political controversy. Companies sponsor golf tournaments precisely because they offer a way to market to upscale customers in a setting where the only controversy is about who is going to win. Although there are certainly chief executives and other corporate executives who are supporting Trump, corporate entities on the whole don’t want to be associated with polarizing political positions…”

Trump’s response to the tournament moving to Mexico City: “I hope they have kidnapping insurance.”

It’s not an isolated occurrence: “In Scotland, Trump’s Turnberry resort, which he bought in 2014, has traditionally been in the rotation to host the British Open. But the R & A, which organizes the British Open, indicated last year that Turnberry was out of the rotation after Trump’s comments about Muslims.”

So, what you have here is one of the most stodgy, yuppie, white Republican sports ever has deemed Donald Trump is too much of a liability.  Your presumptive Republican Presidential nominee, everyone. – PAL
Source: They Won’t Play Ball With Donald Trump”, Joe Nocera, The New York Times (06/02/2016)


How Do You Solve a Problem Like MadBum?

Madison Bumgarner threw 7 more shutout innings, striking out 10 along the way, on Thursday. His season ERA is down to 1.92, and he’s struck out 92 in 80 innings (all three are 4th in MLB). He seems to have finally made The Leap to Ace. But Bumgarner did something else Thursday – he hit another MadBomb, this time a 2-run shot to break a scoreless tie.

Screen Shot 2016-06-02 at 10.23.50 PM

It was Bumgarner’s 11th home run in his last 190 plate appearance. In Mike Trout and Bryce Harper’s last 190 plate appearances? Also 11 home runs. I saw that stat on Twitter and it did not seem believable. But…it is true. Bumgarner is the Unburnt, the Breaker of Chains. The Giants have to seriously be considering how to get him more at bats, which is a crazy thing to say about a pitcher, but Hunter Pence is hurt and here we are – the Giants best pitcher is also their best power hitter. -TOB

PAL: To restate, Madison Bumgarner has as many homeruns in his last 190 at-bats as Mike Trout and Bryce Harper have in their last 190 at-bats. Let that marinate for a moment.

Pretty damn impressive. He is, however, hitting under .200, and obviously his at-bats are spread out over a much longer period of time because, as a pitcher, he only plays every fifth game. Look, he’s the best there is – plain and simple. Give the big, hairy American winning machine more rips, Bochy!

In all honesty, let’s get off the crazy train here, TOB. He’s got serious pop, but he’s a career .180 hitter with a slugging percentage under .300.


Video of the Week

http://m.mlb.com/video/topic/6479266/v762436583

Only in Oakland. Gotta love it.


PAL Song of the Week

The O’Jays – “Emotionally Yours” (Bob Dylan)

Check out the entire playlist, now on accessible to all! https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLXVNwdbBtwKSKDSve4quaUE46FCEm5ib-


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“Oh, Elaine. The toll road of denial is a long and dangerous one. The price, your soul. Oh, by the way, you have until five to clear out your desk. You’re fired.”

-Jay Peterman